Today we braved church. We sat through breakfast and Sunday School and even though I really wanted to hear the sermon, I just couldn't do it. We went home early, but I'd say it was a success for our first time out. We got home and I about collapsed into bed. I'm having a much harder time recovering this time than with GraceAnne. I think part of it is that I hold myself to a much higher standard now than I did. The other part could be the nearly-4-year-old who still needs love and attention. She's been fabulously understanding and an excellent helper, but it is a much bigger transition than anyone could anticipate--especially a pre-schooler!
The baby blues have set in, and I'm glad that I have a name for them this time around. I beat myself up so bad over being so sad after GraceAnne was born and I think I made it worse for myself. Amazing to me is how many books I read and I still didn't understand that hormones could and would make me crazy for a little while afterward. Giving birth is a big task! This time around I'm glad I have God to pray to and I lean on Allan a lot more than I allowed myself to before. They are both excellent support structures and I couldn't be more pleased with how well they love me. So while I cry at nothing, I'm not reading into it or trying to fix it. This too shall pass.
Violet has fallen asleep for now. It seems our days go by so slowly sometimes, but I can't believe she's already been in this world for 3 days. I will also try to sleep these early days away so that I can be a better wife and mother when I am awake. Hope all is well with everyone, we love and miss you!