Hurry up and wait...
That is an old Army adage but it seems to always apply to our lives, even since Allan retired. The Lord has been hard-pressed to teach me patience, as I've always had a "go-get-em" personality, but He is sure trying! My kids are the only exception to this rule, as they are constantly needing me NOW.
Obviously I've been feeling very antsy. The first 5 days or so post-partum, I was being very calm. I'm trying to enjoy these newborn days. Especially since Allan is home, because I can nap, he makes me food, he does the majority of the cleaning...it's been great, really. Except I'm B-O-R-E-D out of my mind! I feel like a huge boob and I try to get up and do things, (all the shopping yesterday), but I'm still hurting pretty badly and that just frustrates me more. I was grocery shopping 6 hours after giving birth to GraceAnne for pete's sake! The other title to this post could be "The old grey mare just ain't what she used to be." Now I have my beautiful new bike in the garage just begging me to ride and I can't sit on it!
Then there's the contractors. We've seen 3. We've heard nothing. When will they be here? What will they do? Will we have to move out to the guest house, this growing family of 4? Will it be the month that Rhiya is here? Will they get dust and grime all over everything I've worked so hard to clean the last few months? Could someone just tell us SOMETHING? Oh yeah...they did--"Have faith."
And I do. I have faith that this will all work out in God's good time. I know He'll take care of us regardless and that no matter how big the mess or inconvenience He'll work it out for us and give us the strength to pull it all together. I know we are so well Blessed--to even have this work being done, to have our daughters home and safe and healthy, to be able to buy a new bike for me and enroll Gracie in summer programs and still have enough to save and pay off the mortgage as quickly as we're trying to.
In the meantime I'll pray this big boob can stop crying at the drop of a hat and falling off the deep end several times a day. Oh--and I hope I can concentrate someday soon, too, because my lack of a brain has got me reeling. I'm sure it's got anyone who has spoken to me in the last couple weeks reeling, too. Or just laughing. I'm sure I sound like a big old dork. I promise I'm not normally this stupid! Maybe you guys can pray, too. I could use it. :)