Excited, Sad, Proud and Terrified

Today my husband went back to school for the summer semester. He's now officially a senior!! I'm so proud of him and I feel like this is one of the moments we've been waiting for the last 5 years. Of course, graduation is the REAL day we're looking forward to, but we've learned that being proud of "baby steps" is best during this waiting game called "life." So I am! So proud of my beautiful hubby. And, of course, my beautiful family. Look at them!! They're amazing. Yesterday was a pretty great day. We didn't do much of anything but laze about as a group, (well, Allan finished up the fence...see above), but it was enough.

I'm also excited because he will FINALLY be doing prosthetics. This is what he's been waiting for, as far as school is concerned, because this is what he signed up for. Last year was all orthotics and while he happens to be good at it, (he's good at everything he tries, I think! Show off!), he doesn't like it nearly as much as prosthetics. So his excitement at this year has leaked over onto me. I'm glad he's going to be doing something he really enjoys.

But these emotions stop short of covering up the sadness and my fear. I'm sad because I really enjoy having Allan home. He's such an amazing father and no way could I even begin to replicate that part of the girls' lives. Moreover, he's a wonderful husband and he carries a large portion of the responsibilities of our household. His summer schedule is 8a-5p, which means 6a-6p, given Dallas traffic and 6p-7p, after homework is accounted for, so everything now falls to me and this scares me for 2 reasons...1.) I already took this full-time job last summer and I'm not very good at it. 2.) I now have twice the number of children I did then. I happen to be very good at one-handed typing, but not so great at one-handed dishes. GraceAnne was so good at playing by herself last year, but since Violet is here, she wants to be right in the middle with me and Vi, so I'm juggling 2 instead of just one.

Yes, all you mothers of more than 1 are laughing at me, but these are my fears . "Told ya so" won't cut it, I KNEW this was going to happen, I just felt it was worth it. So in lieu of the smart comments ;) I'd appreciate prayers. Mostly for Grace and peace. I need the calm that only God can provide.

No comments: