The Survey Says:

I have talked to my midwife and she has given me the go-ahead on a couple of herbs I've been reading about that are rumored to bring on contractions. I'm probably going to try to start tomorrow. Of course, we all know the old adage--"You tell God your plans and then He laughs." I guess I'm just the butt of a big joke right now.

I was supposedly 1cm dilated and 60% thinned, but that has now changed to "closed and long" and I will "probably be feeling the way I feel for several more days." Anyone who has been pregnant knows that this is about the worst news you can get at 39 weeks 5 days gestation and several more days feels like millenia.

Other than feeling VERY anxious to have this baby, I feel alright. Physically this pregnancy has been MUCH easier than GraceAnne's. I'm not numb in half my body, I'm not being battered internally and I don't have to take a dump every 5 minutes. I am, however, officially more pregnant than I have ever been. Miss GraceAnne decided she was fed-up with me at 39w2d, so I'm not sure where to go from here.

Emotionally this pregnancy has been much harder. Of course, we're more settled into our lives now than we were with Gracie, but the hormones have been killing me almost since day 1. They've only gotten worse and I cry or scream at the drop of a hat. I'm terrified that this labor and delivery will not go as well as GraceAnne's did. I'm scared of the baby being too big or meconium in the waters or being transported to the hospital. There are a number of things I'm scared of, really, but I'd prefer to not manifest them through words and will instead just ask for prayers. Peace would be fabulous right now!

I've been playing around with herbs, acupressure and I hope to get a foot and ankle massage soon. Anything safe and natural to get the ball rolling on my end will be tried.

I hope all is well with everyone. I love and miss you all, (and myself!!), and I hope to be normal enough to talk soon without being able to re-write, edit and censor myself. ;)

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