Now I know that yesterday's posts probably make me sound like a hormonal, cynical, amateur comedienne...so I got a little bit convicted and decided to make today a more positive day. Yes, I'm nervously, anxiously and not-so-patiently awaiting the arrival of this new blessing, but I'm not blind to the blessings I currently have, either.
Like being able to sleep--maybe not ALL night, but mostly--right next to my husband. Yes, there's a belly between us, but it's kinda like a little secret just for us. Only we know the baby. It lives in its silent world of water and lets us know its there with its kicks and twists.
Or like being a mother to only 1 precious child. For a few more days I'm totally GraceAnne's. I've been trying to keep her cuddled up and loved on for the last week or so. She tells the baby every morning it's time to come out and prays for the baby to come today. I've spent so long trying to project her future role as big sister in my head, (she's gonna be a great one, by the way!!), that it's been nice to simply enjoy her as an only for a few days. She's such a good girl, and I know that this new child will have its own endearing qualities and will cause my heart to grow 2-fold, but there's only one Gracie-Girl and she's mine! Thank God!
The quiet is fantastic, too. Right now I drop GraceAnne off at school and I come home to do whatever it is I do, (okay, typically nothing...), and it's so peaceful. I used to hate that noise (yes, silence can be a noise!), when I was younger. I hated to be alone and not doing anything. It's so powerful and necessary to me now. Hopefully I can train myself to look at my bible more often during these quiet times. It won't be long until there will be another child vying for my attention and drawing me away from the silence.
I took myself out to pancakes this morning at IHOP. I had to go to the bathroom, (duh--it had been 10 minutes!!), and while I was washing my hands a very nice older lady asked me when my baby was due. I told her tomorrow and she started to beam. She told her friend that my baby was due tomorrow and her friend smiled and said, "your last big day out by yourself!" I told her I sure hope so. As much as I love all of the blessings this life holds while I'm the closest to a miracle I'll ever get, I can't wait to meet my new child and see what new blessings unfold in the days, months and years to come.
Here's hoping for a birthday present for Daddy!! :)