Maybe today, tomorrow's worries are catching up with me. Today, though, I have some planning to do.
Tomorrow is Corbin's 3rd eye surgery. This one is far more involved than the other two have been. The other surgeries were about fifteen minutes long. The surgeon wrote down ninety for this one. This one carries more risk, but this one is not as risky as the surgery he *really* needs and will likely have some day in the future-unless God works a miracle. He's in that business, you know. But from the doctors' points of view, Corbin will have to have a DCR when he is a little bigger. It's a tricky surgery so all other surgeries have been, in effect, just stalling the inevitable. We are grateful to be in the hands of a skilled surgeon. We are grateful that we moved to a place that so happens to have the surgeon most experienced in this kind of pediatric surgery. We are grateful to put this third surgery behind us tomorrow.
Allan's job is...how shall I say this? He's on a sinking ship, and we've been figuring out ways to jump ship and come out ahead. There's a lot of prayer going on here, and we're grateful that all doors are shutting except for one. The one door that is opened will be hard. It will be extremely trying, difficult, crazy...it will be incredibly rewarding and if it pans out we could finally stop bailing water. All glory to God for any good things that happen to us!
My dad's condition has deteriorated even more. He went back to the hospital after being home for a few months and they are now "keeping him comfortable." I feel an urgency to see him. I feel trapped because this weekend, Corbin will be newly post-op. Next weekend we have a friend and her family coming to see us (PRAISE GOD!). The following weekend we are flying up to PA to see Allan's grandma for "the last time" as she puts it. She's also gifting us her 94 sedan that will be a much more reliable vehicle than my Jeep (PRAISE GOD!) Then starts the Thanksgiving and Christmas busy-ness and WOAH, the end of the year will be here before I can blink.
So...since this weekend is really the only one semi-free, and I feel like the longer I wait, the less likely it will be that he even knows that I'm there, Allan and I are discussing the possibility of just me and the girls going up for a fly-by-night visit. I can't stomach the idea of taking Corbin so far from his doctors or exposing him to all the hospital super-bugs 2 days post-op with surgical wounds, so he and Allan will stay home. We are thankful to be a two-parent family so that trips like this are possible. We are thankful that we have an opportunity to go-even if it's not ideal-this weekend. We are thankful that I might be able to give my dad's heart some peace with my visit.
Planning. Today's task is planning. And I don't think we can afford it-really. But I read something the other day that just defines everything.
"Not having money should not keep you from doing the right thing. Ever."
God will provide. We will be more than fine. We will continue doing the right thing and He will continue to provide for all we need. For our DAILY.BREAD. Because we're committing to living ONE.DAY.AT.A.TIME. For His glory.