I have been using this mantra with myself over and over again. Onedayatatime. People say that all the time, but do we ever stop to think about what it really means? I thought it was cute, but idealistic. Who can really live one day at a time? We need to plan for things, we need to prepare.
Last week I felt broken. I don't understand some things. I don't understand why the momentum on the adoption front was so great and then it felt like it just stopped. I don't understand why my little man has to have another surgery on his eye. I don't understand why some companies have to treat their employees like crap and then lie about it so they don't get into trouble. I don't understand why we can't take the kids to do fun things or buy the things we need to buy as soon as we need them. I don't understand why so many of my friends have moved on when I'm still right in the thick of missing them.
So in my exhaustion, I talked to God and I told Him, fine. I will do this one day at a time. But that phrase had a new meaning. It means me looking around and asking God, "What do You have for me to do today." Somedays that means picking up after little people and being sure there's a meal on the table at night. Somedays that means doing some planning ahead-like meal planning or grocery shopping or asking for a sitter while Corbin's having his surgery.
It's amazing, because I feel like I have so much more time. Sometimes when I'm still and quiet, I can hear Him say, "Go watch a video with Corbin and Violet." It's something I did automatically with GraceAnne because I was so sick when she was little, but I don't do it as often with these two. So I listen and I feel so blessed to have these amazing little people in my life. The whole day goes more smoothly and the stresses seem to lift.
Tomorrow has its own worries, and we have plenty of reason to be concerned with tomorrow, but we have so much more reason to take hope in today! God is good and He will not fail us, even when we don't understand.
What do I have to do for today?
Make a menu plan
Get the littles dressed
Possibly go to Target for some tennis shoes
Pick GraceAnne up from school
Get dinner on the table.
Pray with my family...many times
Find something to do to make all my loved ones feel loved.
Get lots of rest so this cold will heal.
How about you? What do you have to do for today?