Today is National Adoption Day. Do you know anyone who is adopted, has adopted, is considering adoption? Today is the day to say "Hey...I'm glad God had such a neat plan for that life."
The third really mind boggling miracle happened early last month. From the time God laid on my heart that mourning was over and Allan and I had that discussion, I was talking more and more seriously about our desire to adopt and the more pointed my conversations with others became, the more obvious it was that many thought we were just kinda crazy.
One night, I was particularly upset and talked to Allan about it. He assured me that if God called us to this, FOR REAL, then it doesn't really matter what anyone else says...even if they do give Godly advice. Touche'
So the next morning I woke up early from a dream-now, this time of year I normally have horrific nightmares. Nightmares that would make some horror movies look like a walk in the park. So to have a DREAM (and a lovely one at that!) was a nice change of pace. This is the little girl from my dream (sorta):
That warm feeling continued and I went downstairs to prepare the day's coffee and read my bible. Remembering my frustration from the evening before, I called out to God before I cracked my bible open and told him WHY I thought adoption was His will for us and why I was beginning to wonder if I was nuts and could he please clarify?
The first passage was 1 Timothy 4. The whole thing is pretty much about following GOD and not listening to what anyone else has to say on a matter.
Okay, Lord...I'm listening. Let me re-focus my attention on YOU. Because YOU make promises that are true and that other people do not understand and sometimes that even *I* don't understand. Cool. Moving on.
The next passage was Isaiah 49. I made lots of notes and God was really speaking to me in the beginning of the chapter, but where it gets way too crazy is around verse 13b-For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on them in their suffering.
Absolutely He did. I would have been locked up in a freakin' nuthouse about a year ago, and I'm not being dramatic. Life SUCKED this time last year. It was more than just the baby, but I won't get into it now. Suffice it to say that it is the LORD ALONE who brought me through and I pray He shined onto everyone I encountered at that time through me.
-16-See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.
Where the nails pierced...MY name is there. NO ONE can snatch anything from His palm!
-18-Look around you and see, for all your children will come back to you. As surely as I live" says the Lord, "they will be like jewels or bridal ornaments for you to display.
I instantly began sobbing as I read that verse. I literally said to God, "Oh Lord...I *think* I know what you are saying to me, but I am so weak and dense. Does this mean when I die? Or in this life?"
-19-Even the most desolate parts of your abandoned land will soon be crowded with your people. Your enemies who enslaved you will be far away.
-21-Then you will think to yourself, "Who has given me all these descendents? For most of my children were killed and the rest were carried away into exile. I was left here all alone. Where did all these people come from? Who bore these children? Who raised them for me?"
I saw the bigger picture...God said, "In this life...here on this earth." in response to my question. But I called out again, "Give me ears to hear what You're saying to me!" I wanted to know if He meant figurative children (as in disciples) or physical children that we would raise.
-22-See, I will give a signal to the godless nations. They will carry your LITTLE SONS back to you in their arms; they will bring your DAUGHTERS ON THEIR SHOULDERS.
Emphasis mine. And cue the flood of tears. Joy. Sobbing.
I said to God, "Am I reading something into this You don't intend to tell me? Of course it is about Christ and us being His children, Lord...I don't want to believe something only to be ashamed later when I'm wrong..."
-23c?-Those who trust in me will never be put to shame.
-25b-For I will fight those who fight you, and I will save your children.
Because, you see, the enemy comes to rob, kill and destroy. Our babies didn't simply die. They were robbed from us and killed. But that injustice has not escaped the eyes of our Father, and though He used those terrible things to shape us, He is deeply sorrowful that we had to experience those losses. He longs to restore us-maybe not in the way we had originally planned, but His plans are always so much more beautiful than ours.
It was this day that Allan and I realized the scope of God's very active and living promise to us-the Doyle family. In His time and in His perfect way, there will be many more children in this home than we imagined. And it will be hard, but we will praise Him for it.
At that point we had to surrender ourselves to the idea of having no clue WHEN this would take place or HOW MANY He has in store for us. That's a big leap of faith...so we surrendered, we prayed and we began to wait.