I want to preface this post by saying that I realize how truly Blessed I am. BUT!! I have a few things I would appreciate my loved ones to be praying about for us. Things have been pretty rough for me mentally the last couple of months and it's definitely leaking into my social life. I pretty much hide and I really want to be with people, I'm just a huge grump and I don't feel like anyone would really want to be around me right now, so be patient, please. I don't deal with hormones well and it feels like things are really piling up on me. Alright, let me list out now why you NEVER pray for patience or humility...
1. I've been having some trouble with my extended family. I won't go into detail on that, but it's been very emotionally taxing for me and I'm not sure how to proceed. Some really not-so-great things were said and brought to my attention and I'm left wondering.
2. We found out a month ago that as of July 1st, we're losing half of our income. We know how to survive on this kind of income, we've done it before, but we were planning on having a year before this happened to pad our savings accounts. Please pray we can still manage to save what we need to, (insurances, plane tickets, kids school clothes all add up and we typically save for those things monthly so they won't be a huge tax on us when they come. We hope to be able to keep up our momentum if we just cut our monthly budget down)
3. I can't go to National Convention for PC in Chicago. We just can't work that into our new budget and I should have been saving all along, but even if I were I probably would not go. We need to put that money in a car fund now that we can't get a van. Need to make sure my car lasts a GOOD long time. I have absolutely no motivation to continue my business and I could sure use some. It'd go a long way toward helping us save.
4. 2 weeks ago I found out the neighbor's granddaughter has Fifth's disease. I was tested and I'm not immune to it. Incubation is up to 28 days, so they're not sure if I have it or not. This is a totally normal and just-fine childhood disease but it's VERY bad for pregnant women. It can cause miscarriage and severe anemia, (resulting in heart failure and brain damage in the baby).
5. I was in the ER in San Antonio due to cervical pain and contractions last week. When they did an ultrasound I saw a large "shadow" in the sac with the baby. They didn't look into it any further because they were only looking for a heart beat. When I told my midwife she basically told me she was unconcerned and we wouldn't get another ultrasound until 18 weeks. When I told her Tricare wouldn't pay for it unless she deemed it medically necessary she said, "I don't know what to tell you then."
6. Due to 5 and the other midwife telling me she'd be more concerned with my kids getting Fifth's disease than me, we're looking into switching prenatal care providers. The only other people in my area that Tricare will pay for are OB's. Which means birthing in a hospital...which I've avoided at all costs thanks to my paralyzing fear of needles and hospitals. I'm terrified of what this means for me. I'm looking into a doula and some hypno-birthing classes, but with our income being cut like it is, I'm praying Tricare will help us pay for some of this, (not likely, but we can pray.)
7. Thanks to my hormones I've pretty much alienated everyone I care about. This is probably my biggest problem. I pray they can still keep loving me when I'm being hard-headed and feeling so blue. I still need you.
8. The contractors are STILL here and we're severely unhappy with the work that's being done. There's not much we can do since it's free, (of course that's a huge Blessing), but it's frustrating seeing them mess things up even though they're getting paid. We feel like we're stuck between a rock and hard place and Allan is getting VERY frustrated that he'll have to fix everything when they leave.
That's enough, I'm having trouble typing this out. I'm completely sick of myself and I'm sorry for whining. I could sure use prayers of peace while we wait for His will to show itself. Thanks.