This post may offend...

This blog post may offend any non-believers out there. 2.5 years ago it would have offended me. Maybe we need to be offended so we can think, grow and accept the truth. So, consider yourself warned.

Allan got into a little bit of trouble at school today. There was a speaker who was talking about "disorders" in children and how there are many more disorders than we know about or diagnose. She talked for more than 45 minutes about how these kids have no impulse control and they are stressing their parents out. She gave 2 examples...

1) 2 little boys, (ages 6 and 5), were playing in their bedroom. The father was downstairs and kept hearing thuds. He was going to go check on them, but figured no one was crying so they were okay and decided to finish what he was doing. Then he heard a loud crash. He ran upstairs to see what had happened and it turned out they had been taking turns jumping from the top bunk. The older boy wanted to "fly" and grabbed hold of a fan blade, spinning around the room. He didn't pull the fan down, but something got knocked over, resulting in the crash.

2) a 16-year-old girl wanted to go to a friend's house. She borrowed the family car and didn't tell her parents where she was going. She broke her parents' curfew and didn't want to face the consequences, so she just didn't go home. The city had a curfew law, however, and the girl got picked up by the police and escorted home. This is how the parents found out where their daughter was.

So the argument is that these children have something wrong with them, but Allan took issue with that. What 6-year-old hasn't done something "wrong" and "damaging" because it looked fun? I'd say most of them have. My 4-year-old does on a daily basis. What 16-year-old hasn't disobeyed her parents and made things worse because she didn't want to own up to her mistakes?

At the very end of the presentation, the woman finally said, "perhaps the stressed out parents are affecting their children and causing them to behave this way." Then came Q&A time. People asked their questions and my husband happened to be the last to get to ask. His question? "Do you have children." Her answer? "no." Afterward his professors were upset with him. Apparently he embarrassed a very respected psychologist in front of the entire university. Was it not a legitimate question? People without kids probably don't think so, but I know you parents out there understand--KIDS ARE KIDS and HERE is WHY:

Life is meaningless without assuming a God. There's no reason to look forward to a future, no reason to be good, no reason for anything. How depressing. So let's assume there is a God...you know I believe this. God puts out rules, which is good, because HEY...who's right down here if we're not all right? We need guidelines or else all is chaos. So in being human we are ALL born with the propensity to sin. Don't get your panties in a bunch over the word "sin," either. It just means doing wrong and we all do wrong, so don't let the verbage catch you up. Children cannot teach themselves. They must be taught by others the difference between right or wrong. Anybody ever read Lord of the Flies? (Another point in the case for God...who originally taught us what is right and wrong?)

So is there really something wrong with these children, or is it simply their propensity towards sin? Each of us wants what we want. It's not until we're older and taught differently that we start to think of others/consequences before we act. Even then many of us don't act unselfishly. I hate when people walk around saying, "my kid has a disorder and that's why he screams in the restaurant." Okay, allow me to redeem myself by saying YES, some children DO have disorders that cause them to act out. Most parents of these children act accordingly and are very humble. The ones who irritate me are the same ones who irritate you...the ones smoking cigarettes and sipping coffee while allowing their children to run and jump off other booths and scream bloody murder with no sense of dissatisfaction or embarrassment that their child is behaving in this way. How should those kids know any different when the parent can't take 2 seconds out of their time to TEACH them how to behave in public? And the father's sin is visited upon the child...selfishness (I don't WANT to take the time or energy to teach them any differently) breeds selfishness (I don't care that the people around me would like to eat the meals that they paid a lot of money for in peace).

Maybe I'm rambling and this doesn't make sense, but when we realize that we live in a country where so many don't have faith in anything and so many don't fully KNOW what is wrong because they don't accept God's Word, of course we're going to think our kids are "messed up." Why shouldn't they just "know" how to behave themselves? After all, the evolution of humans has made us just THAT superior...we don't need to be taught anything, we came to these conclusions on our own. We have to realize that we NEED God just as children NEED parents. Then we think of what role God plays in our lives. He is a leader and He doesn't always give in to what we want. He knows what is best and He acts according to that plan. So how should we be raising our children? We should be leading them and not always give in to what they want. Just like we throw tantrums, (hello, I whine daily about being in the guest house!), our children will, but that doesn't mean we should just give in and assume they have a disorder and call it a day. God doesn't give up on us just cuz we're stubborn mules!

*sigh* I have to go because my 4-year-old is trashing her bedroom. Maybe I should take her to the psychologist and see what type of disorder she can be diagnosed with so I don't have to face the fact that I'm addicted to the internet and given to yelling at every little thing. Yeah...maybe then I'll feel better! I'll let you know in 14 years how that works out for me. ;)


Gayle said...

I would have been right there in trouble with Allan...and I would have went further to question why there is such a need to find a disease to explain every action. Is it to keep herself is business? Kids do stuff. Deal with it and move on. No need to give them a big label and some pills when a swat on the ass might be all that is needed. I am amazed at all the parenting experts who have never had children. For example, the Social Service b**** who picked my life apart. A twenty-something childless little girl. Arrrg. That's a story for another day. Good for Allan, anyhow...it's just too bad he was "scolded" for having his own opinion.

mamamilkers said...

I can agree to disagree with you on your stance that life is meaningless without assuming there is a god, but I certainly agree that saying children misbehave because of disorders is completely and utterly ridiculous!

What type of speaker was this? What were her credentials? She sounds like she had her head up her ass. People who speak about children who have no make my skin crawl. They have NO idea. NONE. They can read all of the books they want to, but you don't truly understand.

Good for Allan for speaking up. I bet he made some people think. He probably had some other parents in the audience applauding!

Anonymous said...

I'll agree with mamamilkers to agree to disagree on the god thing ;-) but seriously... disorders??? What was 'I' smoking while prego with my 3 that gave them their "disorders"??? They get into trouble more than once a day! Its a part of parenting to teach your children what is right and wrong. Kudos to Allan for standing up. I'm proud of him!