Things have been...strange here. We're settling into things well. I'm not nearly as manic about homeschooling/gardening/housekeeping/being a wife as I thought I would be. In fact, one might argue that I'm doing very well at keeping it all under control considering the insanity in my head. I have one thing to say about that: It's not me--it's all God.

Because in my head, this is reason number 281 I should have been born a boy:

I can build a pretty rockin' fire. And I like fire. I jest, but a lot of times, my head does work more like a man's than a "typical" woman's. You know that joke you hear about men walking past a mess and not seeing it? Yeah...that's me. You know how women get together and complain about their men throwing clothes around and just piling up dishes? Yeah...I'm always embarrassed at those conversations because that's me. I could go on, but you get it. You'll probably argue with me, but don't. I know myself pretty well by this point.

But in God's world...these are reasons #1, 3, 4 & 5 I'm glad He made me a girl. I used to think it was a curse to be a woman, but I'm so grateful that I got to be a part of the miracle that is my marriage and my children.

I can't even sit here and fathom what to type. It's been a LONG, HARD few weeks. Make that a LONG, HARD month and a half. If I wanted to, I could make that a LONG, HARD year. But my God has plans for a future and a hope for me and for my husband and for our children, so I will trust that He has a great purpose for this mess that's been made and I look forward to that future and hope.

Victory becomes evident as we watch our little homestudy group turn into a family of people who uplift and encourage each other to be better than we were before. Victory becomes evident when a nasty fight turns into two people more united and driven toward the same place than ever. Victory becomes evident when a piece of mail comes saying I've been accepted to a program on the same vein as the one Allan completed last month. I'll be starting online classes October 4th and I'll be flying to Syracuse University in New York in early November. Victory especially becomes evident when it is more natural than ever to not yell at any little thing and peaceful, calm solutions come to mind more frequently than sarcastic remarks.

Loving and thinking about you all. Praying you're having a Blessed week.


Gayle said...

What an enjoyable evening. It must be nice that all your hardwork on the house is paying off with relaxation time. Wish we had a little more of that! LOL Glad you are doing better.

Emily said...

What classes are you taking for what?

I am also glad to hear you are doing better and enjoying what you are doing with your family!

Sabrina said...

I am so glad that things are looking up for you guys. You know you can call me anytime you need to! Miss ya.