A Life Worth Living

Sometimes life is utterly lonely and I feel despondent. I don't do my dishes, I don't cook, I don't even want to go outside. I'll just hold my babies and think about the things/people I miss. I won't lie, sometimes I have a flair for the dramatic. The last couple days have been like this. After having Trish, Rhiya and my mom here for 2 weeks I get to thinking about the things in life I miss and I miss what I have in front of me.

But God never ceases to amaze, because I wake up next to a husband who thinks I'm beautiful after giving birth to 3 babies. A husband who runs back in the house after he's already later than usual to leave because he "needs" a camera to photograph the "picture God painted for us."

And against all odds, God made these babies bloom. Trish transplanted them for me and they had buds. I knew they would die because when you transplant an iris it takes about 2 growing seasons for it to really perk back up. Sure enough, the tips of the buds were dying. Then I walked out this morning to this:

Life anew despite the odds. Our God is a God of the little things. I like to let the little things speak to me.

Then there is this pond which my husband put so much time and effort into despite his not really liking the ducks much. While Trish was here they moved the filter to the back so it wouldn't be such an eyesore and Allan and I picked up the random detritis by the garage so that it would be a well kept duck-poop pen. Everyday God sends more and more grass so that the ugly is covered up and soon it will be lush and green, because God has a way of making crap beautiful.
Our yard is such a source of strength to me. I love to wander around and look at the random flowers. We've got onion flowers, wild violets, wild petunias, morning glory and these gloriously resilient roses:
Despite our lack of know-how, these beauties come back every year and stun us with their blooms...because God has a way of stunning us to spite our ignorance.
I have a whole patch of beautiful purple irises.
and a patch of beautiful yellow irises.
I also have a patch of the most amazing white irises, but those are done for this season.

When I just don't have it in me to leave the house, God hits me upside the head with responsibility for growing plants that need me to water them. And every day my chest swells with pride and happiness as the new life emerges. I did this. We have strawberries, jalapenos, carrots, tomatoes, rosemary and basil in this box. As if watching them grow and mature wasn't enough, GraceAnne checking the strawberry plants daily on the way to the bus stop and being so excited to see a red berry waiting for her anxious fingers is like watching God on the face of a child. Even better than that, (as if it could get better!) is to watch her joyful eyes savor said berry. If you've never seen a child's entire body enjoy a bite of something, plant a strawberry plant. No plastic container has ever held such a Blessing, I promise you.
I waited and waited and waited for just ONE of the asparagus roots I planted to do something, but it never did and never did. This was the first box we planted and I decided I would be happy enough with the beautiful potato plants. So when I resigned myself to the roots being dead and gone, what does God surprise me with? A tiny aspargus stalk that pulled itself up by the bootstraps one night and grew 6". See it here in the right hand corner?
Because my God is a God of miracles. He brings life to places where there was no hope of life.
For all those days that I want to throw my hands in the air and give up because my efforts are not "good enough" or "big enough" to save the world or even to feed a community, I take comfort in my corn field. 3 pots big, it has 12 corn seedlings that will soon be stalks. I may not feed the community with these 12 plants, but I will feed my family and we will "taste and see that the Lord is Good."And when I am weary and feel like the heat of the world is too much for me to go on, I will look at these lovely plants. Radishes, lettuce and sugar-snap peas. None of these should be growing in this Texas heat right now. With 10 hours of direct sunlight and temperatures in the 80's daily, they should be withered, brown and weary. But here they flourish, pestered only by the squirrels who want to bury things in their presence. Wow...

So what do you look to when life is a little gray? Yes, I have a flair for the dramatic, but the plus side of that is that when I feel God's joy I feel it right down to my bones. God Bless you all and I pray you have a fabulous day. We love and miss you!

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