The Next Day

Wow, it feels GOOD to have a big thing behind us!  Corbin's surgery went well and he is such a trooper.  The nurses all laughed and joked about how smart, articulate and independent he is for such a young person.  He told the recovery nurse, "I don't want you talking to me right now."  Yepp, that's our boy!  I had brought him a sippy of coconut water and juice for him to drink in recovery and the nurse asked him, "Is that apple juice?"  He looked at her crazy and said, "NO!  It's just REGULAR juice!"  Once I got a hold of my bitty and got his clothes on him, they all cooed about how handsome he is.  Yepp.  My boy is so much like  his daddy!  He might get that sass and chatiness from his momma, though ;)

A new friend from small group came around 10am to hang out with Violet.  She is one lucky little duck, because they went to the Kansas City aquarium!  We haven't been there yet.  I was told that her very favorite parts were any parts with sharks.  My kids have a strange obsession with sharks.  haha

 On the way there he had lots of sass for momma.  He said he wanted to see the doctor, but he didn't want the doctor to fix his eye again.  Me either, bud.  To be fair, he was pretty hungry and thirsty and tired.  I was grateful that they put his cutoff time for food at 7am, though.  I woke him up early with sourdough pancakes, bacon, eggs and chocolate milk. 

 He felt a lot better once we got there and had a million toys to play with.  We had pre-registered, so all the time in the waiting room was for nothing.  We didn't get called back until 12.

 Once we went back and got his vitals (except he whined himself out of having to get his blood pressure taken) they asked him to change into his gown.  This did NOT last long...he wanted nothing to do with it.  We sat there a LONG time and he refused the goofy juice, too.

 There we are, sans jammies.  It was COLD in that room, I do not know how he was functioning like he was.  They finally came to get him about 1:30.  They took him back completely lucid, which was hard for me.  He reached for me and whined, and then when I was out of reach he covered his eyes and whimpered. 

In the waiting room I ate some lunch (I couldn't stand the idea of eating when he couldn't, so I was pretty shaky by that point.)  and was in there a little over an hour when the surgeon came down to let me know the surgery had gone great.  Then I had to wait 45 more minutes until he was out of the first recovery.

 Yeah, I look amazing...anyway.  He stayed naked that whole time, he didn't want the gown, he wouldn't let them put a blankie on him and he only wanted the stuff his mommy left with him (his favorite sheet with the alphabet on it and his sippy of juice.)  When they started wheeling him out, I could hear him telling the nurse, "I want my mommy now!"  I wanted my boy, too!

 We had to wait around for about 40 minutes because when he was in recovery he had a croupy cough so they gave him a breathing treatment.  During that time there was lots more sass and lots of cuddles and he got to have the rest of his juice, some goldfish crackers and some grapes.  He was really hungry!  When we finally got to leave, it took him all of about 7 minutes in the car to pass out again.  It's hard work to have a surgery.

 When we got home, he was still sleeping and daddy was home from work with the girls.  We took some time to clean up the house until he was ready to get up and when he came in, the girls were all over him.  He is their favorite little man!  We got him LOTS of food and he was so happy all night.  We all curled up and watched a movie together and passed out pretty quickly. 

Today has been lots of screaming and toddler-ness.  It's loads of fun, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm so glad to have Corbin home and healthy.  We have to keep him inside as much as possible for a few days, and give him eye drops that he hates 4x/day for 10 days, but that's okay.

And here is my handsome man.  I've been staring at this picture all day.  He's growing out his whiskers, which he has never done and he looks darn good!  To be fair, he ALWAYS looks pretty darn good, but he makes Kansas feel like home with his whiskers and sweater and this cold weather.  He's just so all-American.  Who are these beautiful people the Lord has given me?

Today is full of busy-ness, but it is only today.  I fed the sourdough starter, cooked and pureed the pumpkins, figured out dinner and meals for the boys while we're gone.  I did the rest of the laundry and fetched a dead chicken from the hen house (Corbin's hen died last night...we don't know why, there are no marks.  I'm sad about this when I stop to think about it, but we will bury her to help the kids grieve).  I still need to pack some bags for the me and the girls so we can leave first thing in the morning.

It's a crazy week, but we feel so blessed.  So many people have been praying for us and checking on us and loving on us and I'm amazed that we can so readily see God's presence in all of this and these people when everything should be falling apart.  By Tuesday we should have most of the big things taken care of...trip to see dad, the job situation.  Then we'll be moving onto other todays.

Love and miss you all!
~Tara

Tomorrow's Worries

Maybe today, tomorrow's worries are catching up with me.  Today, though, I have some planning to do.

Tomorrow is Corbin's 3rd eye surgery.  This one is far more involved than the other two have been.  The other surgeries were about fifteen minutes long.  The surgeon wrote down ninety for this one.  This one carries more risk, but this one is not as risky as the surgery he *really* needs and will likely have some day in the future-unless God works a miracle.  He's in that business, you know.  But from the doctors' points of view, Corbin will have to have a DCR when he is a little bigger.  It's a tricky surgery so all other surgeries have been, in effect, just stalling the inevitable.  We are grateful to be in the hands of a skilled surgeon.  We are grateful that we moved to a place that so happens to have the surgeon most experienced in this kind of pediatric surgery.  We are grateful to put this third surgery behind us tomorrow.

Allan's job is...how shall I say this?  He's on a sinking ship, and we've been figuring out ways to jump ship and come out ahead.  There's a lot of prayer going on here, and we're grateful that all doors are shutting except for one.  The one door that is opened will be hard.  It will be extremely trying, difficult, crazy...it will be incredibly rewarding and if it pans out we could finally stop bailing water.  All glory to God for any good things that happen to us!

My dad's condition has deteriorated even more.  He went back to the hospital after being home for a few months and they are now "keeping him comfortable."  I feel an urgency to see him.  I feel trapped because this weekend, Corbin will be newly post-op.  Next weekend we have a friend and her family coming to see us (PRAISE GOD!).  The following weekend we are flying up to PA to see Allan's grandma for "the last time" as she puts it.  She's also gifting us her 94 sedan that will be a much more reliable vehicle than my Jeep (PRAISE GOD!) Then starts the Thanksgiving and Christmas busy-ness and WOAH, the end of the year will be here before I can blink.

ONE.DAY.AT.A.TIME. Tara.

So...since this weekend is really the only one semi-free, and I feel like the longer I wait, the less likely it will be that he even knows that I'm there, Allan and I are discussing the possibility of just me and the girls going up for a fly-by-night visit.  I can't stomach the idea of taking Corbin so far from his doctors or exposing him to all the hospital super-bugs 2 days post-op with surgical wounds, so he and Allan will stay home.  We are thankful to be a two-parent family so that trips like this are possible.  We are thankful that we have an opportunity to go-even if it's not ideal-this weekend.  We are thankful that I might be able to give my dad's heart some peace with my visit.

Planning.  Today's task is planning.  And I don't think we can afford it-really.  But I read something the other day that just defines everything.

"Not having money should not keep you from doing the right thing.  Ever."

God will provide.  We will be more than fine.  We will continue doing the right thing and He will continue to provide for all we need.  For our DAILY.BREAD.  Because we're committing to living ONE.DAY.AT.A.TIME. For His glory.

ONE.DAY.AT.A.TIME.

I have been using this mantra with myself over and over again.  Onedayatatime.  People say that all the time, but do we ever stop to think about what it really means?  I thought it was cute, but idealistic.  Who can really live one day at a time?  We need to plan for things, we need to prepare. 

Last week I felt broken. I don't understand some things.  I don't understand why the momentum on the adoption front was so great and then it felt like it just stopped.  I don't understand why my little man has to have another surgery on  his eye.  I don't understand why some companies have to treat their employees like crap and then lie about it so they don't get into trouble.  I don't understand why we can't take the kids to do fun things or buy the things we need to buy as soon as we need them.  I don't understand why so many of my friends have moved on when I'm still right in the thick of missing them.

So in my exhaustion, I talked to God and I told Him, fine.  I will do this one day at a time.  But that phrase had a new meaning.  It means me looking around and asking God, "What do You have for me to do today."  Somedays that means picking up after little people and being sure there's a meal on the table at night.  Somedays that means doing some planning ahead-like meal planning or grocery shopping or asking for a sitter while Corbin's having his surgery.

It's amazing, because I feel like I have so much more time.  Sometimes when I'm still and quiet, I can hear Him say, "Go watch a video with Corbin and Violet."  It's something I did automatically with GraceAnne because I was so sick when she was little, but I don't do it as often with these two.  So I listen and I feel so blessed to have these amazing little people in my life.  The whole day goes more smoothly and the stresses seem to lift.

Tomorrow has its own worries, and we have plenty of reason to be concerned with tomorrow, but we have so much more reason to take hope in today!  God is good and He will not fail us, even when we don't understand. 

What do I have to do for today?

Make a menu plan
Get the littles dressed
Grocery shop
Possibly go to Target for some tennis shoes
Pick GraceAnne up from school
Get dinner on the table.
Pray with my family...many times
Find something to do to make all my loved ones feel loved.
Get lots of rest so this cold will heal.

How about you?  What do you have to do for today?

That's all I got.

How do I write my heart?  It's broken right now, but I know full well it's only for a small time.  God will renew me and I'll mount up on wings like eagles again.  But for right now, I'm just sad.  Momentum was fantastic and all summer everything was going so quickly, all on its own.  Then as soon as we had something to do for ourselves, we started hitting brick walls-again.

Notice that?  No, it's not lost on me.  When we leave it all up to God, it gets accomplished.  When we start doing things on our own, we grow weary and broken-hearted. 

Don't get me wrong-there have been so many victories in this.  People have stepped up to the plate to help us and we are so incredibly grateful.  I just need to remember where my help comes from. 

And I need to rest.  All three of the kids and I are sick.  Head colds, I guess, but we're all miserable and kinda grouchy and very tired. 

The pastor at the church we've been attending preached on Sunday about some steps to following Christ.  He played a video clip about a family who got lost in a corn maze and dialed 911 to come rescue them.  In the video, people were pretty incredulous and gave people tips on how to get through the maze.

1. Listen for the cars...the end of the maze is near the parking lot, so just listen for the cars and walk that way.
2. Look up at the treeline. 
3. (Pastor's addition) Walk straight through the corn.

When you're walking through a maze and you keep hitting dead ends, it's easy to just throw your hands up, sit down, weep and get ready to call 911.  But then it's time to find your horizon.  My Horizon is Christ and too often I get my marching orders and then I'm like, "OH!  I can do *this* to get to that place!"  Maybe "this" is what I'm supposed to do and maybe it's not, but I have been guilty of looking at the treeline, finding North and looking back down to figure out how I can navigate the terrain to get to North.  Then I feel discouraged when ONE.MORE.TIME. I'm stuck. 

My marching orders right now are to take GraceAnne to school.  Then go to the recycle center.  Then to come home and nurse these sick babies.  Past that, I don't know.  And I guess that's how it should be and I guess that's going to have to be okay.  Type A personality, be damned.  Literally.

Raffle for over $500 in prizes! Ends 10/15/12

What can you WIN!?

Tier 1=Pampered Chef. We have a total of 14 prizes (14 winners!) worth over $250 total.

We need to sell a minimum total of 75 sticker sheets to draw for Tier 1. 

 

Tier 1 Items: 

Mini Scoop & Measure (5.50 value)

Twixit Clips (6.00 value)

Tie Its (7.50 value)

Soups, Stews & Chilis cookbook (8.00 value)

Cranberry Microfiber towel (8.50 value)

Large Serving Spatula (10.00 value)

Bar Board (10.00 value)

Slotted Bamboo spoon set (11.00 value)

Make it Fresh, Make it Healthy cookbook (15.00 value)

2-cup prep bowl set (16.00 value)

Batter Bowl Set includes small batter bowl and large batter bowl (28.50 value)

Ridged Baker (30.00 value)

Large Bar Pan (35.00 value)

Dressed Up Desserts Gift Bundle Bundle includes Shimmering Glass Round Platter, Beaded Cake & Pie Server and The Pampered Chef® Chocolate cookbook. (59.50 value)

Tier 2= Equal Exchange. We have 17 prizes (17 winners!) worth $235 total

We need to sell a minimum*total* (including entries from Tier 1) of 150 pencils to draw for Tier 2.

 

Tier 2 Items:

(6) 20 ct boxes Organic Chai Tea. Fairly Traded (6 winners worth $5 each)

(2) 12oz canisters Organic Hot Cocoa Mix (2 winners worth $8 each)

(6) 12oz bags Organic Breakfast Blend Coffee. Fairly Traded. (6 winners worth $11 each)

Beautiful Body Care Kit includes 2 bars handmade soap scented with cucumber and coconut and a natural fiber body scrubber tied together in a palm leaf basket ($18 value)

Crowd Pleaser Gift Basket includes 1 ground coffee, 2 chocolate bars, 1 hot cocoa, 1 tea in a grass basket ($45 value)

Fair Trader Gift Basket includes 2 ground coffees, 4 chocolate bars, 1 hot cocoa, 1 tea in a grass basket ($60 value)

Tier 3=Your choice of prize worth $75. Do you need a spa day? Do you want to take your spouse to a great dinner date? Do you need a g/c to help with Christmas presents? This is 1 gift, 1 winner, your choice. $75 value.

We need to sell a minimum*total* (including entries from the first 2 Tiers) of 250 pencils to draw for Tier 3.

Tier 3 Items:A prize of winner's choice totalling $75. If your name is drawn for this prize, you can choose a gas card, restaurant gift card, gift card to Toys R Us, or whatever your heart desires, (for $75) as long as I can purchase the prize online and have it shipped directly to you.  We absolutely will put a restriction on this, as we are FAMILY with conservative values, so we will NOT purchase you a naughty magazine subscription, a case of beer or a gift certificate to the gift shop at your local nudist colony.  Moving on.

Questions?  Leave a message below

Ready?  Set...Here are the buttons to purchase your stickers/pencils and recieve your FREE bonus entries for the raffle!

5.00 sticker sheet+ 1 FREE raffle entry

20.00 pencil + 5 FREE raffle entries

 

After you click and purchase, remember to SHARE!!

Thanks so much and God Bless!

 



ONE FREE ENTRY PER PERSON! (All other entries are also free, but "bonus entries") a Rafflecopter giveaway

the not-so-fine print



To adhere to Kansas rules, the raffle is FREE, but your 5.00 donation will purchase you a *real* sheet of stickers. With the purchase of a sheet of stickers, you will recieve ONE FREE ENTRY into the raffle. Your 20.00 donation will purchase you a *real* pencil. With the purchase of a pencil, you will recieve FIVE FREE ENTRIES into the raffle. You will actually recieve those items purchased in the mail after the winners of the raffle are drawn on Monday, October 15th. If you are one of the lucky winners of the FREE raffle, then your purchase will be included in your prize package. 

So we are selling stickers and pencils and GIVING AWAY raffle tickets for what I will call a "tiered" fundraiser. A $5 sticker will earn you 1 entry into the giveaway. A $20 pencil will earn you 5 entries. I will include "checkout buttons" on the side and bottoms of the fundraising posts.

Our goal is to have at least 250 entries.

IMPORTANT: ANY AND ALL FUNDS RAISED FROM THE SALE OF STICKERS OR PENCILS WILL GO DIRECTLY TO PURCHASING PRIZES AND SHIPPING THEM. REMAINING DONATIONS WILL FUND OUR HOMESTUDY. IF ANY MONEY REMAINS AFTER, IT WILL BE SAVED FOR FUTURE ADOPTION COSTS

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!

The Deets:
We will close this raffle on Monday, October 15th so that our homestudy packet can be turned in on the 18th (time for the money to deposit into the adoption account) when we take Corbin in for his pre-op appointment. (Both are about 40 minutes away in the same direction, so I'd love to take 1 trip instead of 2) I will draw for the winners via randomizer Monday, October 15th at 9:00PM CST. I will place orders for the prizes that same evening and winners will get their items within 2 weeks.

Entries will be drawn randomly. Each winner wins ONE prize. For example, if entry #351 is drawn for prize 2, Tier 1, the person associated with that entry will win the Pampered Chef Twixit Clip set. 1 person can win more than once, but each entry will be discarded as it is drawn. For example, if you earned 4 entries and your name is drawn for 1 prize, that number will be discarded, but your 3 remaining entries are still in the pool for further drawings.

Remember also: This won't work if you don't SHARE! If you purchase a pencil and recieve 5 entries, but only 10 entries total enter, we can't give away the prizes because our family has to actually pay for these prizes out of the proceeds from your purchases.

The Officially Official "Sale" and FREE Raffle

It turns out that it is illegal to "sell" raffle tickets in the state of Kansas.  To adhere to Kansas rules, the raffle is now FREE, but your 5.00 donation will purchase you a *real* sheet of stickers.  With the purchase of a sheet of stickers, you will recieve ONE FREE ENTRY into the raffle.  Your 20.00 donation will purchase you a *real* pencil.  With the purchase of a pencil, you will recieve FIVE FREE ENTRIES into the raffle.  You will actually recieve those items purchased in the mail after the winners of the raffle are drawn on Monday, October 15th.  If you are one of the lucky winners of the FREE raffle, then your purchase will be included in your prize package. 

You really don't want to miss this raffle, we have over $500 worth of prizes.  See the details below:
If you don't know, our family is in the process of adoption called the "home study"  It is what it sounds like, they study our home and us to make sure we're fit to give more kids to.  We have to pay for the homestudy and aren't eligible for grants until it is complete and we are then "home study ready."  We need the help of our friends and family (and now anyone who wants to win an amazing prize!) to raise the rest of the money we need to be able to turn our booklet in.

So we are selling stickers and pencils and GIVING AWAY raffle tickets for what I will call a "tiered" fundraiser.  A $5 sticker will earn you 1 entry into the giveaway. A $20 pencil will earn you 5 entries.  I will include "checkout buttons" on the side and bottoms of the fundraising posts.

Our goal is to have at least 250 entries.

IMPORTANT: ANY AND ALL FUNDS RAISED FROM THE SALE OF STICKERS OR PENCILS WILL GO DIRECTLY TO PURCHASING PRIZES AND SHIPPING THEM.  REMAINING DONATIONS WILL FUND OUR HOMESTUDY.  IF ANY MONEY REMAINS AFTER, IT WILL BE SAVED FOR FUTURE ADOPTION COSTS

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!

The Deets:
We will close this raffle on Monday, October 15th so that our homestudy packet can be turned in on the 18th (time for the money to deposit into the adoption account) when we take Corbin in for his pre-op appointment. (Both are about 40 minutes away in the same direction, so I'd love to take 1 trip instead of 2) I will draw for the winners via randomizer Monday, October 15th at 9:00PM CST. I will place orders for the prizes that same evening and winners will get their items within 2 weeks. 

Entries will be drawn randomly.  Each winner wins ONE prize.  For example, if entry #351 is drawn for prize 2, Tier 1, the person associated with that entry will win the Pampered Chef Twixit Clip set.  1 person can win more than once, but each entry will be discarded as it is drawn.  For example, if you earned 4 entries and your name is drawn for 1 prize, that number will be discarded, but your 3 remaining entries are still in the pool for further drawings. 

Remember: Christmas is coming up!  Items you win could go as Christmas presents. 

Remember also: This won't work if you don't SHARE!  If you purchase a pencil and recieve 5 entries, but only 10 entries total enter, we can't give away the prizes because our family has to actually pay for these prizes out of the proceeds from your purchases. 

Now for the fun part...what can you WIN!?

Tier 1=Pampered Chef. We have a total of 14 prizes (14 winners!) worth over $250 total.

We need to sell a minimum total of 75 sticker sheets to draw for Tier 1. 

 

Tier 1 Items: 

Mini Scoop & Measure (5.50 value)

Twixit Clips (6.00 value)

Tie Its (7.50 value)

Soups, Stews & Chilis cookbook (8.00 value)

Cranberry Microfiber towel (8.50 value)

Large Serving Spatula (10.00 value)

Bar Board (10.00 value)

Slotted Bamboo spoon set (11.00 value)

Make it Fresh, Make it Healthy cookbook (15.00 value)

2-cup prep bowl set (16.00 value)

Batter Bowl Set includes small batter bowl and large batter bowl (28.50 value)

Ridged Baker (30.00 value)

Large Bar Pan (35.00 value)

Dressed Up Desserts Gift Bundle Bundle includes Shimmering Glass Round Platter, Beaded Cake & Pie Server and The Pampered Chef® Chocolate cookbook. (59.50 value)

Tier 2= Equal Exchange. We have 17 prizes (17 winners!) worth $235 total

We need to sell a minimum*total* (including entries from Tier 1) of 150 pencils to draw for Tier 2.

 

Tier 2 Items:

(6) 20 ct boxes Organic Chai Tea. Fairly Traded (6 winners worth $5 each)

(2) 12oz canisters Organic Hot Cocoa Mix (2 winners worth $8 each)

(6) 12oz bags Organic Breakfast Blend Coffee. Fairly Traded. (6 winners worth $11 each)

Beautiful Body Care Kit includes 2 bars handmade soap scented with cucumber and coconut and a natural fiber body scrubber tied together in a palm leaf basket ($18 value)

Crowd Pleaser Gift Basket includes 1 ground coffee, 2 chocolate bars, 1 hot cocoa, 1 tea in a grass basket ($45 value)

Fair Trader Gift Basket includes 2 ground coffees, 4 chocolate bars, 1 hot cocoa, 1 tea in a grass basket ($60 value)

Tier 3=Your choice of prize worth $75. Do you need a spa day? Do you want to take your spouse to a great dinner date? Do you need a g/c to help with Christmas presents? This is 1 gift, 1 winner, your choice. $75 value.

We need to sell a minimum*total* (including entries from the first 2 Tiers) of 250 pencils to draw for Tier 3.

Tier 3 Items:A prize of winner's choice totalling $75. If your name is drawn for this prize, you can choose a gas card, restaurant gift card, gift card to Toys R Us, or whatever your heart desires, (for $75) as long as I can purchase the prize online and have it shipped directly to you.  We absolutely will put a restriction on this, as we are FAMILY with conservative values, so we will NOT purchase you a naughty magazine subscription, a case of beer or a gift certificate to the gift shop at your local nudist colony.  Moving on.

Questions?  Leave a message below

Ready?  Set...Here are the buttons to purchase your stickers/pencils and recieve your FREE bonus entries for the raffle!

5.00 sticker sheet+ 1 FREE raffle entry

20.00 pencil + 5 FREE raffle entries

 

After you click and purchase, remember to SHARE!!

Thanks so much and God Bless!

ONE FREE ENTRY PER PERSON! (All other entries are also free, but "bonus entries") a Rafflecopter giveaway

Kicking it in the Crotch

What the?

When GraceAnne was little and we still lived in Washington state and I had mono SO BAD, she and I used to watch A LOT of Food Network.  One of our favorites (or maybe it was just on at the time we laid on the couch every day) was Emeril.

 Remember Emeril Legasse?  "BAM!"  "Kick it up a notch!"  "Another notch when we come back!"
Well, sweet GraceAnne really loved Emeril, and when we would cook dinner she would say "BAM, Mommy!  BAM!" 

One day she thought she'd try out his other signature phrase and very enthusiastically said, "KICK IT IN THE CROTCH!"  It has stuck.  So now, for the 2nd attempt at hitting our goal for the home study funds, we will be "kicking it it the crotch." 

If you don't know, our family is in the process of adoption called the "home study"  It is what it sounds like, they study our home and us to make sure we're fit to give more kids to.  We have to pay for the homestudy and aren't eligible for grants until it is complete and we are then "home study ready."  We need the help of our friends and family (and now anyone who wants to win an amazing prize!) to raise the rest of the money we need to be able to turn our booklet in.

So we are selling raffle tickets for what I will call a "tiered" fundraiser.  A $5 donation gets 1 entry into the giveaway. A $20 donation will get 5 entries.  I will include "checkout buttons" on the side and bottoms of the fundraising posts.

Our goal is to have at least 250 entries.

IMPORTANT: ANY AND ALL FUNDS RAISED FROM THIS RAFFLE WITH GO DIRECTLY TO PURCHASING PRIZES AND SHIPPING THEM.  REMAINING DONATIONS WILL FUND OUR HOMESTUDY.  IF ANY MONEY REMAINS AFTER, IT WILL BE SAVED FOR FUTURE ADOPTION COSTS

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!

The Deets:
We will close this raffle on Monday, October 15th so that our homestudy packet can be turned in on the 18th (time for the money to deposit into the adoption account) when we take Corbin in for his pre-op appointment. (Both are about 40 minutes away in the same direction, so I'd love to take 1 trip instead of 2) I will draw for the winners via randomizer Monday, October 15th at 9:00PM CST. I will place orders for the prizes that same evening and winners will get their items within 2 weeks. 

Entries will be drawn randomly.  Each winner wins ONE prize.  For example, if entry #351 is drawn for prize 2, Tier 1, the person associated with that entry will win the Pampered Chef Twixit Clip set.  1 person can win more than once, but each entry will be discarded as it is drawn.  For example, if you purchase 4 entries and your name is drawn for 1 prize, that number will be discarded, but your 3 remaining entries are still in the pool for further drawings. 

Remember: Christmas is coming up!  Items you win could go as Christmas presents. 

Remember also: This won't work if you don't SHARE!  If you purchase 5 entries, but only 10 entries total enter, we can't give away the prizes because our family has to actually pay for these prizes out of the donations. 

Now for the fun part...what can you WIN!?

Tier 1=Pampered Chef. We have a total of 14 prizes (14 winners!) worth over $250 total.

We need to have a minimum total of 75 entries to draw for Tier 1. 

 

Tier 1 Items: 

Mini Scoop & Measure (5.50 value)

Twixit Clips (6.00 value)

Tie Its (7.50 value)

Soups, Stews & Chilis cookbook (8.00 value)

Cranberry Microfiber towel (8.50 value)

Large Serving Spatula (10.00 value)

Bar Board (10.00 value)

Slotted Bamboo spoon set (11.00 value)

Make it Fresh, Make it Healthy cookbook (15.00 value)

2-cup prep bowl set (16.00 value)

Batter Bowl Set includes small batter bowl and large batter bowl (28.50 value)

Ridged Baker (30.00 value)

Large Bar Pan (35.00 value)

Dressed Up Desserts Gift Bundle Bundle includes Shimmering Glass Round Platter, Beaded Cake & Pie Server and The Pampered Chef® Chocolate cookbook. (59.50 value)

Tier 2= Equal Exchange. We have 17 prizes (17 winners!) worth $235 total

We need to have a minimum*total* (including entries from Tier 1) of 150 entries to draw for Tier 2.

 

Tier 2 Items:

(6) 20 ct boxes Organic Chai Tea. Fairly Traded (6 winners worth $5 each)

(2) 12oz canisters Organic Hot Cocoa Mix (2 winners worth $8 each)

(6) 12oz bags Organic Breakfast Blend Coffee. Fairly Traded. (6 winners worth $11 each)

Beautiful Body Care Kit includes 2 bars handmade soap scented with cucumber and coconut and a natural fiber body scrubber tied together in a palm leaf basket ($18 value)

Crowd Pleaser Gift Basket includes 1 ground coffee, 2 chocolate bars, 1 hot cocoa, 1 tea in a grass basket ($45 value)

Fair Trader Gift Basket includes 2 ground coffees, 4 chocolate bars, 1 hot cocoa, 1 tea in a grass basket ($60 value)

Tier 3=Your choice of prize worth $75. Do you need a spa day? Do you want to take your spouse to a great dinner date? Do you need a g/c to help with Christmas presents? This is 1 gift, 1 winner, your choice. $75 value.

We need to have a minimum*total* (including entries from the first 2 Tiers) of 250 entries to draw for Tier 3.

Tier 3 Items:A prize of winner's choice totalling $75. If your name is drawn for this prize, you can choose a gas card, restaurant gift card, gift card to Toys R Us, or whatever your heart desires, (for $75) as long as I can purchase the prize online and have it shipped directly to you.  We absolutely will put a restriction on this, as we are FAMILY with conservative values, so we will NOT purchase you a naughty magazine subscription, a case of beer or a gift certificate to the gift shop at your local nudist colony.  Moving on.

Questions?  Leave a message below

Ready?  Set...Here are the buttons to donate for your entries!

5.00 donation=1 entry into raffle

20.00 donation=5 entries into raffle

 

After you click and donate, remember to SHARE!!

Thanks so much and God Bless!

Did She go to Vegas?

Hey there folks!  So we didn't meet our deadline, the money is still sitting in the PayPal account waiting for when we can gather it all.  We will probably have to re-submit some forms since they were time sensitive but we are still doing this thing.

Here's the latest breakdown of funds:

Total fees for home study: 1231.80

PayPal balance: (Donations by people like you!) 469.19  (OMG!  I am so completely blown away and in awe!)
Change jar raid: 200.24
Cash Donations: 40.00
Checks by mail: 85.00
____________________________________
794.43

Fees-Balance=437.37

That's not much!  Not when a few weeks ago we were looking at 1231.80 and wondering how in the world!  That's only 88 more people giving $5 each.  Rest assured, we are looking around the house for things to sell, but we've already gotten rid of most of our "stuff."  I have been eye-balling Allan's parts truck for the scrap metal, though.  We'll see how that goes. 

I haven't been around much the last couple of days because we always get paid the first part of the month.  By the end of the month, we are down to pantry shopping (which is why I have a pantry, of course!!) so the first few days of the month are always spent busily driving too many miles to get food that is actually good for us.  Monday we spent most of the day at the park, meeting someone who will be an amazing resource for us.  She has a degree in family therapy and worked closely with adopted children with attachment disorders.  WOAH!

Yesterday the littles and I went down to Overland Park, a bigger town with a Whole Foods and a Costco.  When I have to drive that far, I like to make sure the trip is worth it, so we also met up with a woman selling raw cream and milk.  I have been wanting to add butter back into my diet, but I wanted to add *real* butter, so I met up with her.  Turns out she grew up in foster care, never could be adopted because no one could find her birth mother.  She lived in over 15 different homes and you would never even believe the amazing woman she is.  SO kind and loving and beautiful.  I am so grateful to have met her.  She's 48 and last Thanksgiving her birth mother (in England) found HER, so next week she is meeting her for the very first time.  WOAH!

Last night was our first official foster parenting class, and that was good.  I think I heal more from these trainings we go to for our future adoptive children than anything else ever has.  I am so glad God is walking this path with me before I walk it with a little person!

Today I'm nursing the ickies.  I had 2 cups of my honey/lemon/ginger tea this morning and I'm rocking a super smoothie.  I'm going to try to eat only raw today (except for dinner, I am SO looking forward to baked fish and sweet potato fries!) to see if I can't get this nasty feeling out before tomorrow. 

And that's about it for me.  Tonight is our small group, and GraceAnne has a 4-day weekend.  We're going camping this weekend and the kids are super stoked.  It will be really good to get out of the house and just BE with each other.  It's supposed to be pretty cold this weekend, though, so I need to make sure I really bundle these little Texans.  (Me too.  BRRRRRRR!)

I'm changing out the ticker on the side because the ChipIn button irritates me.  I can't change it to reflect what we've already raised, so buh-bye.  Of course, here is the donate button:

 

 

And please pray that these funds come.  The more time that goes by, the more things expire and then we'll have to come up with fees again (for our background checks, etc) and bother our friends for more reference forms and well, paperwork already abounds, so avoiding extra is always a good thing!  We even got an inch of papers from our foster parent class last night that we get to fill out, too.  (Don't tell anyone, but I do kinda enjoy filling out forms.  Allan marvels at how quickly/efficiently I can do it and have my handwriting still be legible.  What a skill, right?  God knows what He's doing when He passes out the talents ;P )

 

We do so appreciate all that you're doing for us and the love, support and prayers you've given.  It should go without saying that we truly, deeply appreciate the donations, but it shouldn't, in good form, go without saying, so THANK YOU for your help and your generosity.  God will bless you abundantly for helping us and for helping the children He will bring to this household. 

 

All our love!

-Tara

What's Really Happening

PRAISE GOD!  Another $50 donation came in last night, so we're down to needing 544.04 more to be able to send in our homestudy packet on Monday! 

I wanted to have a little fun today, and the blog has been desperately devoid of pictures the last several days.  Have you seen those posters with 6 cells going around on Facebook?  The ones where it says, "What my mom thinks I do, what society thinks I do, what I really do"?  I thought I'd make one of my own based on a verse that is helping me today. 

1 Corinthians 9:24-Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

This is what I thought I'd do.  *I* did it!  *I* paid for our home study!  Or *I* raised the funds for our homestudy!

This is what I *feel* like, asking people to help us.

 

This is the reality...needing God and people to help me while I'm weary.

 

And THIS is the only way we will finish.  To have faith and to run TOGETHER to win the prize!

 

I don't have to tell you again that I need your help.  But I will.  Because I need to keep leaning on my support until the 4th picture is a reality.  We don't deserve your help, we're just a normal family with a big calling, but we appreciate it and with your help, a fatherless child will find a warm, loving home and some pancakes on Saturday mornings.

 

We're not saints.  We're not martyrs.  We're just people in need of help and feeling very vulnerable.  But we have a BIG faith in a BIG God who never stops using His people to further His kingdom's cause.  We're in the process of giving all we have toward this.  We are so humbled and grateful for your love and support and we need it MORE THAN EVER as these are the last 2 days before we're scheduled to turn our packet in. 

 

There are THREE ways to help.

 

1. You can help us the most by SHARING this page with everyone you know.  They will share with the people they know and think about it...your friends list on FB is how many?  What if only 10% of them passed it on to their friends list?  And 10% of them passed it on?  That's exponential growth!!  The better the publicity, the better the chances that we get word out to those God has planned to help.

 



2. You can help by DONATING.  There is a ChipIn button on the side bar at the top of the blog.  You can't see it if you're mobile, in which case, there is a PayPal DONATE button to click on directly following my post here.  (Thank you, Shawn, for helping me figure that out last night!)  If you select "gift" when checking out with PP, 100% of your donation will come to us (no fees taken out).  We only need 108 more people to donate $5 each!  That's not many people at all!!

 

 

3. If you have a baby in your life, you can click on the banner to purchase some amazing baby shoes and if you mention us (Doyle Adoption) at the checkout, she will donate $5 from your purchase to our home study fees.  This is only good until Sunday, September 30th at 11:59pm.  That's tomorrow night!  Be sure to get a pair for the baby/toddler you love and then spread word of THAT sale, too!! 



And because it bears repeating, THANK YOU for your prayers.  I kinda mixed up the order a bit up there, didn't I?  Prayer is truly the very, very best way you can help!  Allow me to put some faces with those prayers for you, please.

This is our family.  Allan, Tara, Rhiya, GraceAnne, Violet & Corbin.

 This is a sibling group here in Kansas that we asked for prayer for.  They need a home like so many other kids in the system, but larger sibling groups are harder to adopt out because people are scared to take on so many at once.  Please lift these precious babies up, that their forever family comes to find them soon!  They are Tykia, Triquanna, Tadya, Tywron and Jerry

And this is a sibling group in Texas who also needs a forever home.  Aren't they adorable!?  Same prayer requests, of course and that ALL of these children will grow in the Lord and have HOPE for their futures.  They are Da'Shawn, Xravia, Ny'Teia, Tre'Drian, Drelon and D'Camren.

Thank you so much, God bless you and we pray you have a fabulous weekend!

Friday Night Light

I love how God constantly works for us while we're sleeping.  There's not much sweeter than waking up to some emails that say "someone wants to bless YOU."  (Except the sound of our littles giggling together, or getting a soft kiss from a tiny person and hearing "I love you, Mommy.")  Last night we got some donations and a couple people bought shoes from Pitterpat (click the banner at the bottom of the blog if you love creative gift ideas for babies/toddlers.  My friend at Pitterpat makes the most amazingly cute, durable, comfortable shoe your child could own and she's offering $5 toward our homestudy costs for everyone who purchases a pair and mentions us at checkout!)

So now we are OVER HALF WAY TO OUR GOAL!!  To break it down for you, here is the math

Total Cost: 1231.80
-PP balance (your donations!) 377.51
-cashed in change 200.24
-cash donation 20.00
-checks by mail 40.00
_______________________________
594.05 left to raise!!

That is only 119 donations of $5! 

I cannot begin to explain how much it warms my heart that you have all felt called to help us by sharing this page or donating money to our home study costs.  I don't feel like we deserve it.  The voice in my head says, "if you can't do this on your own right now, it shouldn't be done."  "Quit asking people for help, who wants to help you?"  "Just stop bothering everyone."

But the Truth~that still small voice says, "Tara, I sent your family on this journey.  I will send the funds and I will use My people to do it."

Today I've been working in the kitchen and putting together fundraising packets for our family full of Equal Exchange materials.  I'm very excited, but I know that first things first...we have got to find $594.05 by Monday so that we can turn our home study book in and move on to the next phase.  SO!  Please share the blog with that handy little share button on the side ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
and email it to your friends and family and ask THEM to share and let everyone help bring some kids without families to their forever home.  We so appreciate you all and thank you for all you're doing!

All our love and prayers!
~Tara & Co.

Disaster

This week. Wow. 

Monday we signed our new wills. Monday I tried eggs and my throat swelled up.  Evidently I am sensitive to eggs, so I decided to continue my Reboot diet just adding something small here and there to see if there are any other sensitivities I didn't know about.

Tuesday I had to take the littles to get their physical to *almost* complete our homestudy book.  They were wound for sound from the time we got there.  They were climbing the walls, quite literally.  Jumping off of chairs, hanging on furniture, washing their hands-ad nauseum...they wouldn't listen to ANYTHING or ANYONE.  Not a nurse, not a doctor, not mom.  I was really stretching my grace, but thankfully God has plenty to spare.  The doctor looked them over, commented on how rambunctious they were being, berated me for considering bringing adoptive children into our home when our children aren't fully vaccinated and then she left.  For 30 minutes.  During which time Violet defied me and finally gave in, sitting next to me with her thumb in her mouth and Corbin tried to nose dive off the examination table, so I held him in the other chair while he...

screamed.

and screamed.

and screamed.

The nurse stuck her head in to check on us in the middle of it all.  We must have looked very interesting with the paper from the exam table crumpled all over the floor, wet handprints everywhere, crayons in all parts of the room, Violet sitting quietly next to me while I calmly hold Corbin tightly so he can't move.  While he screams.  She didn't say a word, just looked in (to make sure I wasn't torturing him??) and then walked out.

Then the doctor graced us with her presence again and sat down, passed out stickers in an attempt to get the littles to calm down (didn't work, they just yelled about wanting "Punge Bob Kware Puhnts" instead) and proceeded to tell me that she could not judge my whole life by a 20 minute visit, but that she was writing down that she suggested they visit our home before they place us with a child. 

Because my kids were being such turds.

**for the record, we do NOT watch Spongebob...they have seen it at Children's Hospital, of all places, while we wait for Corbin's opthamology appointments with his surgeon. I believe they also saw it at the laundromat before we left Texas**

Then she left for another 15 minutes, whilst I ruminated on all that.  Thankfully they have to do a home visit anyway, so the suggestion doesn't really count for much, but WOW!  What a thing to be told.  I really can't say as I blame her, and I'm not mad at her at all, it was just...crazy.

She came back in with their charts and the little tests I had to give them before they had turned completely insane and she was shaking her head with a puzzled look on her face.  She said, "They are *really* smart."  I kinda chuckled and then she said, "no, I mean, really...look at this.  Violet is doing developmentally on target for a 6-year-old (she's 4) and Corbin is doing things on target with a 5-year-old (he'll be 3 in Dec)"  I just kinda looked at her.  I mean, I know my kids are geniuses, it's not news to me, but I wondered what it meant to her.  She said, "maybe that is why they're so curious."  And I laughed out loud.  Maybe ma'am.  Or maybe the devil poked them with a naughty stick this morning. 

We left and they slept 2 hours in the car.  Yepp, it's exhausting to go nutso in the doctor's office and tear it down tile by tile. 

That evening Allan and I were supposed to start our foster classes.  The sitter came by early, we got out the door with more than enough time and on the way we saw the most beautiful sun beams that people paint pictures of with God's hands.  The windows were down and the weather was cool.  I even said to Allan, "yepp...we're in God's will.  This is perfect."  When we arrived at the destination, I was confused...these were residences, not a business.  A lot of circling blocks, searching the internet on my phone and a couple phone calls later helped me discover that we were actually 31 minutes away from where we needed to be.  And class was starting in 2 minutes.

Can you feel the hope draining from the car?  Well, thankfully the coordinator let me know that this was actually the orientation and we could just join next week.  To make the most of it, Allan and I went to coffee and a movie instead.  Hey!  When in Rome, right?  After the day I had, I needed some down time.

Wednesday I got a call from the foster agency and happened to ask a question about vaccinations because someone told me that we can't foster without current vaccinations.  She asked some specifics and proceeded to tell me what we would need to "catch up on" to be eligible.  I told her, (very nicely) that wasn't happening and asked how we could possibly get around it.  She's still researching, I guess, because I haven't heard back from her. 

I discussed with Allan and we reconfirmed that we are sticking to our guns on this one.  A good friend helped me find the religious exemptions for Kansas and I got it all filled out, we just need to get it notarized.  We're proceeding as if this is not a glitch.  WHY?  Because I let it discourage me for 2 days and have lost 2 days of fundraising.  Lost 2 days of hope.  But the Lord reminded me that HE sent us on this mission and if HE is for us, who could stop us? 

We have nearly $700 to raise by Tuesday.  I can't be discouraged another day.

Today we found out that Allan's job is in limbo.  The company he works for has been shady for a while, but it's coming to a head.  We're hoping and praying for a job offer from another company.  But all these things seem laughable, really.  Because of faith and hope in a God who is MUCH bigger than any of these things. 

So here it is: here is where I implore you.  We still need $691.26 to be able to turn our completed homestudy packet in by Tuesday, October 2.  4 full days.  That is ONLY 138 people donating $5.  Each time one of my friends has shared this page, we've gotten donations from people we don't even know!  We had one paypal donation come in for $2.  I could cry!  Who are we that this person would donate her $2 when she could possibly have needed it for something else?  I could kiss her-truly!  God is so good to us and He is moving in people, but He can't stir them, unless they know about us, so PLEASE, use the SHARE button on the side ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>
Share it on facebook, tweet about it, send the link to your email contacts and ask them to SHARE it, too.  We've had some crazy traffic on this blog lately, so I *know* y'all are spreading the word.  THANK YOU.

138 people is so few people!  God will use our efforts to multiply what has already been raised!  He will use YOU to bless our family, to bless children in need of a home, and that blessing will come back to you.  I know because I see it all the time. 

To donate, simply click on the "ChipIn" button at the side or bottom of this post.  Your donation can be made by Paypal balance, electronic check, credit/debit card.  If you check "gift for friend/family" Paypal won't take any fees out of your donation.

Malachi 3:10-12 says: Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. ¹¹ I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty. ¹² “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the Lord Almighty.

Our family is so grateful for each and every one of you.  We can see the finish line of this milestone.  Can you see it with us? 

God is Big

I took the weekend off.  Off of everything except our home and family.  I needed it.  Allan and I put the house back together.  After 5 days of juicing, it was getting bad.  He built us a fire pit and made me some shelves and I simmered apple butter all weekend and canned it for Christmas presents (and for us, too, of course!)  We had a great time at church and discussed how we will proceed once our Reboot is over (Tomorrow!!).  We spent lots of time with the kids, just watching movies with them, chatting and hanging out.  It was a great weekend.

Yesterday it occurred to me that I probably don't have time to take off.  After all, we still need to raise quite a bit of money before next Sunday.  But it felt so good to be off of it, that I didn't bother.  This morning we signed our new wills, and it's official...any and all children God chooses to give us will have a home to go to in the event something happens to us.  Tomorrow evening we start our foster classes and all our fundraising materials for Equal Exchange came in, so I have catalogs and samples just waiting to go out.

And I still feel like I am to sit still.  Why?

**this is a little off topic, but it is my heart these last few days and I need to write it out.  I realize that I struggle with seeing God as I see my step-dad. He was a man who liked to be in control at all times, and if you said or did something that made him angry, he withheld love. He was not full of grace or mercy and I *knew* that if I didn't get a blessing, it was my own fault. Can you see what a terrible god that is?  Can you see how I can get ahead of myself by trying to live up to a standard that cannot be lived up to, but only redeemed through a Savior?

I also realize that I struggle with seeing God (and everyone else) like 2 dads who didn't want me. Except I don't know why and I'm still a little girl who can't imagine what she did to make 2 grown men want to go away. I'm a woman who loves these men and doesn't want harm to come to them, but the words aren't natural and the relationships aren't healthy and I don't feel entitled to my feelings of love and regret. Can you see what a terrible god that is?

The only cure for these struggles is to pull in close to a God who loves me and knows every hair on my head and wants me so much he would send His son to die for me so that I could be reconciled to Him forever. So much prayer and bible study is needed in these times of struggle so that the truth can speak clearly to me when lies fog the path.**

In my bible study during the wee hours, as the sun was just peeking over our horizon, I read Acts 12.  Herod has John arrested and killed and he sees that the Jewish leaders are pleased by this, so he orders the arrest of Peter. 

One line-verse 5-says,  So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him.

Peter was facing indescribable odds.  He was double chained to 4 guards in the inner cell of the prison.  All the guards knew that if he escaped they would be put to death.  Peter also knew what was coming, yet they all SLEEP in the night.  An angel hits Peter to get him to wake up, makes the chains fall away and tells Peter to get dressed (would YOU want to stop to get dressed, knowing these people could wake up and kill you!?) The angel even tells him to get his coat and then leads Peter out.  When he arrives at the place where many believers are gathering (those same ones that were praying so earnestly for his release!) the girl that comes to the gate is so excited she doesn't even let him in, but runs in yelling about how Peter is there.  The believers are all astonished.

Astonished that God answered their earnest prayers.  I must not let myself believe that any of these blessings is of my own strength or understanding.  God directs the hearts of the people who have given and the people who have helped.  If you decide today to donate $5, it is because our God is a BIG GOD who knows of this (relatively) small need and He is mighty to answer prayer that maybe we don't always even believe will be answered.  Take hope, weary heart!  There is rest to be found in Him who does more than we could ask or imagine. 

This morning on the radio the deejay said, "If things are not looking so great from where you sit right now, remember...God brought the entire universe into existence just by speaking.  If that God is with you, IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY!"  It touched me in a way I needed to be touched and I smiled all the way home.  God is so big.  He is going to take care of this fundraising.  It's up to Him to motivate people to help, not me.  I still do what I need to do, I do the work part of it He's given to me, but His still small voice is telling me to be still right now.  So I will.  I am rejuvenated by this rest.  He will bring this money by the time we turn in our packet. 

Amen!

It Just Got Real

Well, Mommy didn't get up to spank my butt, HOWEVER, we did get that sitter we were praying about.  Last night she called us to say she was interested.  Bonus-she's one of the ONLY two teenagers we even know in this town and she's aweosme.  And we babysat her when she was GraceAnne's age.  Too cool!  That means we are on track for starting foster classes on Tuesday. 

AAAAND, this morning we got GraceAnne's physical done, finished our fingerprinting and realized that after Tuesday (the littles' physicals) our homestudy book will be complete.  So I wrote to our homestudy lady to set up an appointment to give her our packet and she reminded me that the homestudy fee is $1200 + our travel fee ($40) and due immediately when I turn in the books.

...yeah.  It just got real.

So we do not, in fact, have until October 12th because there are time-sensitive materials in our packet that need to be turned in pronto.  We actually have until October 1.  Which is 11 days from now.  Let's break it on down.

Our paypal account shows a balance of 237.66 (if you're wondering about the uneven number, PP takes a fee from every transaction) NOTE:  A friend just told me if, when you go to donate, you check the "gift for family/friend" button, PP does not charge, meaning your FULL donation comes to us! 
A wonderful man in our homegroup donated $20
Our total fees are 1231.80
We have 974.14 left to raise.

I will be raiding our change jar (which we set aside for the adoption costs anyhow) and praying like crazy that this blog will spread and people's hearts will be touched.  For background info to anyone who is new, check out THIS post.

The Dreaded "F" Word

We're hoping for 194 more people to donate $5.  If God so moves you, please share this post on your facebook page, tweet about it, send it out to your email peeps.  Every person you send it to is another potential $5.  Help us in spreading this word so far!

I post this picture to illustrate a point.  Sometimes we, as Christians, become so overwhelmed by Jesus' mandate to care for the widows and orphans.  What can we do?  Sometimes we can become bogged down and feel guilty about what little we think we can do, but look at those numbers up there!  God knows numbers.  He knows the number of hairs on your head.  The number of grains of sand on the ocean shore.  He cares enough to use numbers time and time again in His word.  He knows the number of dollars we need to raise in the next 11 days.

Don't make any mistake-God is in those numbers above.  He does NOT call all of us to be missionaries in the Congo or to adopt orphans.  But He does call all of us to HELP.  Maybe His will for you is not that you would bring orphaned children into your own home, but instead to help those of us who *are* called.  I'm not saying this to lay another guilt trip or to get you to donate to us, I'm saying this to bring you HOPE.  You can live out James 1:27 by aiding those who are the hands and feet of God to the least of these.

Making a donation is easy!  Just click on the ChipIn button below and make your donation via PP.  Remember, if you click on "gift to family/friend" there is no fee taken from the donation.  And don't forget to SHARE the post!

Thanks for reading our story, thanks for your support, thanks for sharing and thanks SO much for your donations.  God is so faithful to us!

How big is TOO big?

This question has been tumbling through my brain a lot lately.  I know a lot of people think we're a little batty for wanting more than 4 kids.  Thankfully we know some people who think 4 is a small number.  We are currently a half-dozen.  We can't fit in an economy car, but we don't need a 12-passenger van.  Yet.

We told God when He started talking to us about adoption that we would be open and willing to have any children that He brought to us.  When we began the process with a private agency (and are still working with them) we thought, "how bad could that be?"  The process takes a year or more each time, besides getting chosen by a birth family is never a guarantee, so maybe we'll have a couple more.  Maybe it'd even be cute to get a small sibling group and be done with it.  And again, if you want to make God laugh, show Him your plans.

Really, how far did we think that would fly?  "Yeah, God, we're open to Your will.  As long as it looks like XYZ.  After all, isn't that much further than where we were before?"

Allan has wanted an older sibling group from the beginning.  I was not so gung-ho on that.  I mean, who doesn't love a baby!?  I know how to take care of babies.  I even have a whole protocol that I will follow to relactate in the event we get placed with an infant.  All of our kids ADORE babies and want more of them.

More and more lately, though, I feel drawn to these kids I see peering back at me from the computer screen.  Sibling groups of 5 and 6.  Sibling groups that will have the very hardest time being adopted together, because it's HARD to have TEN KIDS, OMG!  I have showed these pictures to our kids and asked their opinions on them.  "Do they look like your brothers and sisters."  GraceAnne always asks the sweetest questions like, "That girl is my age, do you think she will like the same books I do?  We could share clothes!" and Violet just looks at them lovingly, pops her thumb out of her mouth and says (In true Violet form) "Maaaybe.  Who are those kids?  What are their names?"  Corbin gets excited to think of having boys to play with.

Then I wonder, will it split my kids up to bring in so many so close to their ages.  Right now they are all so close-knit.  Will it change our lives insanely to bring more people into this house who already have thoughts and opinions that are probably radically different than our own?  Will we still have friends when we can't really go anywhere because of our huge crew?  Will we go insane?

Bare with me a moment while I tell you what has happened-church wise-the last month or so.  We've been church hopping all summer, trying to find a place we fit.  We liked every one that we went to for some reason or other, but none of them really felt like they were home.  So we kept praying.  Toward the end of summer I was feeling desperate for community with other believers.  I found a church online and one Sunday we just didn't get it together enough to head out the door in time.  Allan and I listened to the webcast and liked it a lot.  The following Sunday we did the same and the Sunday after that we went in to visit.  We really liked the place so we immediately signed up for a home group, which so happened to be starting the very next week.  In the class and at church we are studying what it means to be a Christ follower...after we have that "Define The Relationship" chat with Him.  And we're studying all the places in the bible where His followers have a choice to make.  Are you in it for your own glory and comfort, or are you willing to stand out for God's glory?

I want to say I'd stand out.  But when God asks me to step out, I want to bridle Him.  When I do that I fail to accept this scripture:
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. -Isaiah 55:9

Yesterday I finally caved and told Allan that I think he might be right, I think going through the foster system may be what we are being led to.  Then I called to find out about the classes we'd have to take.  The woman is here in the town we live in and she asked a hundred questions and immediately signed us up for the class.  I got a little scared and told her I needed to be sure that was what we wanted and that we could find a sitter.  She seemed excited and said, "Well, I have you down.  Just call if you can't make it."

Now all the questions come flooding.  Sure, it'll be less expensive to adopt through the foster system, but that means 3-6 beds all at once, depending on what group we were matched with.  It means a bigger car, like ASAP.  It means feeding so many children every day.  It means being incredibly intentional so that so many children can feel loved. And the "logical" part of me says, "Tara, you cannot be serious.  You cannot do this."  And then the faithful part of me says:

"I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matt 6:31-33

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Eph 3:20

So the faithful part of me wins, because we've seen so many times that God will NOT call us to do anything He does not equip us to do.  And the logical part says, "It's up to YOU then, God, to fund this homestudy and to find us a GOOD sitter for Tuesday nights."

I guess we'll find out soon.