Are you CRAZY?!?

So since I'm terrible at keeping secrets and since this started off as a baby blog, we'll come full circle and announce to anyone who didn't already know--we're expecting. According to a chart, we're due in early December but we have a sonogram scheduled for Monday to find out for sure. We're praying that there are 2 boys in there and we've been praying for this pregnancy since we were about 7 months pregnant with Violet. We're all absolutely elated, (except Violet, who smiles blankly when we say "BABY" emphatically and point to my belly), and the timing is just perfect. Things will be chaos for a while, of course, but my house is chaos anyway, so no biggie.

I've discovered, however, that there are a great many people who are absolutely opposed to anyone having more than 2 children. I'm really sorry they feel that way. Truly I am, but if you do, please keep your comments to yourself. Some people really know how to attempt to rain on God's parade and well, it's just not gonna work around here. So I thought I'd answer a question I've gotten this last week as we've been sharing our good news.

"Why would you want more? Are you crazy?" Yes. I am crazy. Crazy about my kids! And anyone who sees me grumpy once in a while can kiss my butt because I challenge you to do my job 24/7 and not be grumpy sometimes. Yes, my kids get yelled at once in a while and they get on my nerves on occasion, but I love them more than words and they make my whole life worth while. I consider them God's gift to me and Allan and we take our job of raising them to be God-loving, caring, thoughtful, giving, sweet people seriously. I want 2 boys because this is our last pregnancy, (Allan says he'd like to enjoy his retirement), and I really want to raise some boys to be great dads/husbands like their daddy. Of course it'd be great to even out the hormones in this house, too. My last answer to this question are the pictures below. With kids this great, who wouldn't want more? They're so amazingly beautiful, sweet, kind and smart. I kinda see it as our job to put more GOOD people into this world of nastiness. We can and WILL make a difference in this world for Christ through our children.

a

Check us out...

Our friend, Jina Armstrong, is a professional photographer working on a portfolio, so she took our pix for us yesterday. Here are her faves.

http://jina6789.zenfolio.com/

Obviously, we're the Doyles.

Daddy-Daughter Camping

100% without a doubt, never any question in my mind...these 4 are the most precious people in my life. I have never in my life been happier than when I have them all together and even moreso when they are having fun together. Allan took the girls, (all 3 of them!) camping last weekend with his class. He took them BY HIMSELF. Right down to 11-month-old Violet. He's such a great Daddy and they really had a good time.

I got reports that Violet played great by herself and was incredibly content while they were there. 3 days without Momma did her good, too. She seems more calm and less clingy than she was. Allan said she slept pretty good, despite her double ear infection and yeast infection from hell.

I've never seen any child so excited about and by her Daddy before. Because of my own issue with my "2 dads" I find so much joy in this. Reminds me of Genesis 50:20-"Even though you planned evil against me, God planned good to come out of it." Had I not experienced the bad men in my life, I wouldn't be so appreciative of the good one He gave to me. He is so faithful!

Glorious child! GraceAnne has the joy of 10 children locked up inside of her and she LOVES to let it shine out. Some days that translates into the drama or the disobedience of 10 children, but most days it is pure joy to be around her. I've never met anyone so eager to share her love, joy and happiness with those around her. When she walked in the door from camping she literally jumped into my arms and yelled, "MOMMY!! I had the BEST Daddy-Daughter camping time EVER! And I missed you SO MUCH!"

These two are the best sister duo in the world. There was never a little sister loved so much or so well as GraceAnne by Rhiya until Violet was born. Now Vi gets both of these wonderful sisters to love on her. There was a time in my life I begged God or the universe or the spirits or whoever would listen to not give me little girls but obviously God knew better than I did and I can't imagine my life any other way. They are so beautiful and keep me so balanced.

Blurry, but AMAZING just the same. Rhiya is the best big sister in the world, I think! She plays non-stop with the girls and loves on them all the time. She's eager to please and such a joy to have here. I'm so sad that she leaves in less than 48 hours. The months stretch by way too slowly between her visits and the days pass by way too quickly when she's here. I'll post more pictures of her visit in a couple days, but for now I'm going to soak her up!

I hope you're all feeling as Blessed as I am! We love and miss you all.

Our newest additions

The much anticipated phone call came this morning that our special package had arrived at the post office. We were getting GraceAnne ready for school, so we hurried up and ran to the PO so she could see the babies before she had to be dropped off. They sent 12, but only 11 made it safely. I only ordered 10, so we're ahead of the game anyhow, but it's always sad to lose one!


Here they are in the shipping container from Metzer Farms.
Here is a closeup of one of the girls. We have named 4 of them that we intend to keep. They are sprinkles, speckles (Rhiya came up with both of those), Whiskers (GraceAnne) and Count Drake-ula (Allan's doing.) We will be raising 6, however, because Allan's veterans' representative wanted some to eat.
Vi and I really bonded with them while GraceAnne was in school today. They think we are their mommies now. Vi would become disinterested and crawl away and they would peep like crazy for her to come back. She loves the duckies, and kept saying DUH DUH DUH and peeping back at them.
They have a pretty sweet setup free of any way to make messes. The last time we had ducks I was a retarded duck mom and didn't really build them a suitable abode. This time I researched the heck out of it and this is the medium size baby pool from Wal-Mart with a duck feeder in a pie plate and a waterer made from a half gallon milk jug in a 13x9 dish. They can only get their heads in the holes, so they can't splash the water all over the pool, which really helps cut down the level of nast. Right now there are 8 babies sleeping downstairs under their brooder lamp. We sold 3 today and tomorrow 2 more go to our friends, the Darsts. That leaves me with the 6 and I know they're going to look so tiny in that pool all alone. Give em a week...then I'll be freakin' out that there isn't enough room!

Hope you enjoy the pix of the quackers. I'm sure there will be many more to come--GraceAnne, Rhiya and Allan have yet to be photographed with a peep and then there's always peeps in the grass, peeps in the Easter basket, peeps in the tub for a swim etc. etc. etc.

Busy Saturday

First thing's first...ain't she perdy!?! They finished painting the porch and our mailbox green today and put the shutters back on. YAY!

I spent the better part of the day in the yard working hard. We did get a little break at Miss Hannah's first birthday party, though. It was a lot of fun, but we all looked like some serious white trash, dirty and stinky and gross from working in the yard. Here's what we did that warranted all that nast:
I dug a hole! Since Allan only has 1 leg, I only have to break one to get him to fit!




Actually, it's for the duck pool. I found a design online I'm trying to replicate. I'll keep posting pictures of my progress as I go. For now I have to make that thing about a foot deeper. That outta keep me busy for a while.
I moved some irises from the neighbor's walkway to my fence. I've been meaning to move these for a long time, but just got around to it today. They probably won't bloom this year thanks to the trauma of moving, but at least they're moved. And you never know, they might just decide to show off for us...I had some I moved last spring that did.
I moved the grass I took out of the pool area and the iris bed to the bare patch where we removed the sidewalk. 2 springs ago I dug a big garden and transplanted grass to an old bed we were trying to incorporate into the lawn and it was quite successful, so I hope this attempt is as well. You can also see the sand pit on the far side of the new grassy knoll. This happens to be the girls' favorite part of the yard right now and it was totally on accident. I intend to move that sand into my hole and put dirt there so we can grow some grass but for now it keeps them entertained while I dig holes and move flowers.

Violet cut her 4th tooth. It's on the top. It's been trying to come in for 2 weeks now and it FINALLY cut through today. YIPPEE! I figured since this was originally a blog about her I should use it as my baby book at least until I actually find her real baby book and can fill it out.

I'm just putting this here because I'm pretty amazed this darned tree is still alive. This is the tree we got to celebrate Violet's birth and it survived its first Texas summer and winter! It's a willow and I'm super thrilled to see it get bigger. We LOVE willows! Oh yeah, and there's Allan in the background, raking. He raked up all the construction debris around the house. There was a lot of insulation and paint chips all over the place. The yard is awesome, now, so it matches the house! Go Allan! And a PERFECT ending to a LONG day...she's asleep on our bed in our room in our house. For the first time in 4 months. I will probably take lots of pictures of our second firsts in the house and you will probably get sick of it, but oh well...I've been waiting entirely too long to be back in here and I totally deserve to bug the heck outta ya with pictures of our return. Muahahahahaha!

Oh, and guess where GraceAnne is sleeping? In her OWN ROOM! 1 down, 1 to go. We will have freedom yet. About that time we'll get pregnant with twins. HAHAHA!

Hope all is well!

I Win!

My cousin-in-law who runs the blog, "The White House" gave me an award. Now I'm going to finally post about it, even though it's been a while. She's so great and I love her blog and I think she's really talented, so to get a creative blogger award from her is exciting to me!

Here are my rules...I am supposed to write about 7 things I love and then pass the award on to 7 more blogs.

1. I love that I am posting this from my bed in my room in my house for the first time in 4 months. It's been too long and I am so glad to be home!

2. I love my babies...ALL of them. I love my big hairy baby, my step-baby, my drama queen and my ittle bittle. I fell into them, or I guess you could say God smacked me in the head with them, but I am all the richer for it and DEFINITELY a better person!

3. I love ducks, and I can't wait to get our package of 15 at the post office next month. I can't wait to walk into the post office and hear all the peeping and open the box in front of everyone there and count my sweet little peepers. It's gonna be so cool!

4. I love cooking. I love creating something that nourishes my family and makes them so happy. There's not much better than hearing Vi say "mmm!" and eagerly opening her tiny pie-hole or GraceAnne saying, "you make the best egg burritos EVER, Mommy!" or hearing Allan say, "this one is a keeper." I especially like when we're talking to Rhiya about being here soon and she asks me to "PLEASE make your biscuits and gravy!" Naturally I make those a couple times while she's here! :)

5. I love Texas. This is the only place I've ever lived that I feel completely and totally 100% at home. I love the people, I love the weather, I love the critters, (I do NOT, however, love the bugs!) There are things I miss about other places I've lived, but for the most part I could never leave Texas again and I'd be happy.

6. I love my husband. Yeah--I kinda already said that, but I have to say it more in depth. He is my protector, my provider and my best friend in the whole world. He's beautiful and sweet and funny and and and! Mostly I love that he loves me no matter what and supports me so well.

7. I love Jesus. My life has morphed so amazingly since I started walking with Him. I love that He knows I can't earn His love and just gives it to me anyway. I want to be more like Him.

And with that I tag Branch, Emily, Sybil and Mary. I don't know anyone else who would do it. I'd give it back to you, Gayle, but I think that's against the rules or something. Hmmmm...Stay posted tomorrow for more pix of the finished outside!

And it was All Yellow!

"And there are the Doyle's in the yellow house!" Anyone know what that movie is from?
Here's the back of the house. The trim on the bottom is almost all done, they still have to paint the trim on the top floor.
The door is olive green, isn't it beautiful?? I LOVE it! We're going to paint the shutters that color and the porch, too. YAY!
Today a super-sweet friend took the girls so Allan and I could get some work done. Here is our bedroom painted. WOOHOO! We can move in it this weekend. We still need to paint the trim and trim out the windows, but that will come in time. For now I'm just thrilled to be moving back into our freakin' house! We also got GraceAnne's room touched up and the patch re-painted so we can move her bed in there. Today life feels GLORIOUS! I can't wait until we can put the kids to bed and watch a movie together or laugh together or just hang out with the lights on. I'm so tired of going to bed at 8pm. I miss my husband!

Thanks for celebrating with me, too. I'll keep posting as we paint more and more of the inside. We thought MAYBE if we can manage to get rid of the kids on Friday for a few hours we can get Violet's room and the toy room painted. That would be SWEET! Hope all is well with you and yours, we love and miss you all!

Primer n Paint

When we pulled in after our trip to Florida, we got to see a primered house. And then every single one of us thought, "maybe we should have had them paint it white..." since it looked so pretty white.

They didn't get it painted while we were gone because it rained all week last week.

BUT! They came this week! The whole thing is yellow now, but we're slackers and don't have pictures of that yet.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this color! There's enough leftover that we can do the garage and the guest house if we want to. Note: this will probably NEVER happen unless we HAVE to to sell it. We are both so absolutely done with all things renovation and we still have SO MUCH left to do.

We've got our bedroom completely taped up and tarps on the floors so our nice new floors don't get all jacked up and Allan painted the ceiling today. Hopefully the walls will be painted by the end of the week and we can start moving back into that room, (and GraceAnne's...hers only needs touch ups), this weekend. I cannot wait to be out of this god-forsaken guest house! It has been 4 months and we're all about to kill each other.


Here's a lil something to make you giggle.

The Doyles have Fun in the Sun

I could kick myself for forgetting our better camera, but the pix from the disposable I bought here in Florida are all I've got, so they're all you get, too. Hopefully I'll get some better shots between my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law.

We're having a great time and we're all trying to rest today before we leave on our long journey westward this evening. It's a LOOOONG 19 hours and the kids probably take it better than I do, but it's well worth it. I am sad to be leaving, but excited to go home to a new house, maybe. They are supposed to be done painting. We'll see tomorrow afternoon!
Violet is such a sweetie. She's been having a blast exploring this totally not kid-proofed house. This week is the most she's been able to be put down EVER. Her dirty knees and fingernails show it, too!
Allan and Trish. They aren't from the same family, are they? I guess those Doyle genes run THICK and DEEP.
Me at the fort in St Augustine. It was SO COOL! St Augustine is the oldest city in America and it's where Ponce DeLeon looked for the fountain of youth. This fort has a lot of history and I wish we could have stayed longer to read everything.
Daddy giving Violet ice cream at the zoo. MMMMMM.
Conked out after a long week! She's been sleeping a lot the last couple of days...so have I!
Me, Allan and Vi at the fort. GraceAnne was having a day with Mommers.
Allan and Vi at the beach...this was Violet's very first trip to the beach. She LOVED the sand, (and the salty tasting shells she kept licking!), and she was not sure at first about the ocean "getting her" but decided after a while that she loved it, too.
GraceAnne managed to only bring one shell with us, but she thoroughly inspected all the others. She had a blast at the beach and got to play there lots more than we did. She went 2x with Mommers while we did other things. The time we went with her, Vi and I slept in the car for a couple hours and so we only played for a few minutes, but boy was that nap sweet!
Allan, GraceAnne, Violet and Pat at the zoo. We love Brevard Zoo! This trip was our 3rd ever there and they've expanded it and made it even better. We really enjoyed the new kiddie area.

That's it for now, please keep us in your prayers as this is a LONG drive. Allan always drives it straight through. Feel free to give us a call tomorrow morning to find out about our progress/keep us company for a few minutes. I'm sure we'll be loopy and looking for distraction right about then!

In like a Lion..

March is here and all the busy-ness that accompanies it is here, too. This week Allan is staying at a hotel in Dallas for a couple of nights to work on his senior project without interruption and as soon as he gets done with rotation on Thursday we're off to Florida for a week to do a Pampered Chef show for his sister and to visit with she and MIL. Hopefully it'll be warm. I have several shows booked this month, (WAHOO!), and I'm excited to see if I can book the next 3 months as full and more full than this one is. WE ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!

I suppose you'd all like to know why I haven't been online the last few days, though, and how the house is coming...Every day the guys working on the floor would disconnect our router because they needed to sand. Every evening when they were done, Allan would go reconnect it so I could get my fix for the night...err...run my business. Friday night they told Allan he couldn't go upstairs. Boohoo for a weekend of no internet, but YEEHAW for what we walked into this morning!!

Here you go!My first view of the beautiful floors from my kitchen.
The living room where, YES, there IS a fireplace. I know that may be shocking to all of you who saw our storage area, but it does exist and someday we will be able to read a book by a fire in that soon-to-be LIBRARY!
Our stairs from the top looking down.Grain's room. She said this is by far her favorite room and I thought, "good thing, since you'll be sent to it enough in your lifetime!" Really, though, we three girls were running through the house sliding on stocking feet and acting like hooligans. Even Violet seemed to sense the excitement and was crawling and sliding on her belly to her hearts content. That's all I've wanted since this project started, was a floor safe for my babies to crawl on and there it is! So I'm overjoyed right now.

I'm fighting the urge to run inside and lay out a sleeping bag on the floor! However, we decided that it would be a lot easier to paint the walls before we put furniture in, so we'll have to wait until we get back from Florida to move in. Bummer, but at least there is an end in sight now!! The guys working on the exterior said they'd be done next week, too. YIPPEE! We're having a great big ole' open house when this thing is done. Just please excuse the lack of trim and the still-not-updated kitchen!

Here are some more super-cute pix because I can't not share them.
Family movie night. Violet LOVES Coke!
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Chill out, people, my kids don't get coke until they're at LEAST 11 months old and she's only 10 mo yesterday! The popcorn was also not popped yet and I only give her the soft pieces.
Yepp, it was warm enough to be nekkid in the swing. 80's that day! It got cold again this weekend, but it should be up to the 80's again by midweek.
HOW did she do that? And no...we weren't all standing around laughing at her as she crawled around crying cuz she couldn't get it off. We wouldn't do that! Not for too long, anyways...hehehe.

Hope all is well with everyone. We love and miss you all and pray that you feel as Blessed as we feel this week!

Floors...those beautiful floors!

This is a patch Allan had done where a wall previously was. Can you see the door frame? The guys we hired to do the floors said they would "lace" the repairs in so that it wouldn't look so obvious.
Here is the after! Obviously it's not been sanded or finished, but the wood was laced in and it looks great. They did this to the big hole in our living room and they're working on the dining room too.

Here is a big nasty water rot spot under the window before they came...

And there it is, (or rather, ISN'T), after they sanded it. You can still see some on the edge, but they got the hand sander out and fixed that, too. YAY!And these were the stain options. I really loved the one on the far left, but we chose the 3rd from the left instead. Lots of reasons, but it's pretty too. The guy called tonight and said that they'd be done by Saturday. Apparently the floors were waxed A LOT and it's taking a lot to sand them. That's okay, I can handle waiting an extra day for great floors. At least we're seeing some PROGRESS on that part of the house.

Now maybe we can get our electricity back in our garage. *sigh*

My sh*t list

But first some pictures because I haven't posted any in a long time and I know ya'll want to see them.

Ain't she cute, sleepin' with her butt up in the air?

This is my rocker girl with a scrape on her face from kissing the pavement in our driveway. It healed in no-time fast, thank God. I thought someone was going to think I beat her!She is just so darned snuggly!! I've never held such a cuddly little thing in my whole life.

So lately I've been pretty depressed and I realize that I've NEVER known how to deal with grief. I just put it off and shut myself up because I feel like I don't "deserve" to feel it and I don't pray about it because I don't know how to pray to "feel better" because it doesn't work that way...so here is my prayer list and I'm going to consider this my way of "handing it over to God" so I can move on, hopefully.

1. We had to move out of our house.
2. We've been stuck in a house the size of a bedroom for 3+ months now.
3. My kids don't listen to squat and aren't free to roam/play/work out energy out here.
4. I have no computer during the day while Allan is at school.
5. I miss my mom and sisters, especially after I had an AWESOME time in WI in Dec.
6. My "dad" didn't say SQUAT to me or send a Christmas card for the 2nd year in a row.
7. My "church family" seems not to care that I tell them I'm lonely and stressed. I still only see them on Sundays.
8. The "extreme home makeover" has turned into the extreme home demolition...oops we don't have the money to fix it, so you'll just have to live with it.
9. I'm about to lose my promotion and become just a consultant again.
10. The only friend I can hang out with during the day and who I adore and learn from and appreciate so much just moved 6 hours away.
11. I got a ticket for being a neglectful mom.
12. The surrounding circumstances triggered my PTSD and now I'm super sad about crap I haven't thought about in years.
13. I have to go to court and file a complaint and all I want to do is forget about the whole thing.
14. A cousin from my step-family called me and I felt really bad about it.
15. Someone from church reported that I didn't clean up good enough after my Kids in the Kitchen workshop, even though I did.
16. My uncle died last week and I don't feel like I have the right to mourn because I pretty much disowned that family when I was 13.
17. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to feel close to God.
18. I can't make myself walk into the church service to save my life for the last 3 months.
19. I hardly get to cook anymore since our kitchen is torn up and I have no stove out here. The cleanup is horrendous.
20. My husband's been in 2 car accidents in the last 2 months.
21. My car is acting up.
22. My husband's PTSD is acting up and I can't fix him. I wish he didn't have to understand how I feel.
23. No matter how hard I try I can't stop screaming at the kids
24. I feel alone, scared and stupid.
25. I can't do anything right and everything I touch gets screwed up.

26. I had to give up nursing.

27. I had to give up pumping.

27.5. Formula is EXPENSIVE!

28. Violet is ALSO allergic to cow's milk and has to have soy formula.

29. The kids and I have been sick for a couple weeks with allergies.

30. I've been realizing I need to learn to reconcile old me and new me instead of just forgetting that that life existed. This is harder than I ever imagined.

31. My stomach is still all icky and fat from giving birth almost TEN months ago.

32. My long-lost step-daughter's aunt found me on MySpace and made me wish we knew her.

33. I miss Rhiya like crazy and it makes my heart ache. I love to talk to her on Sundays but I cry when I get off the phone with her because I wish she was here and I'm so impressed by the woman she's turning into.

There some of it is. Maybe now I can walk away from it or deal with it or whatever it is I'm supposed to do. Thanks for being my journal, blogger.

BOOYAH!

TITLE 5. OFFENSES AGAINST THE PERSON

Sec.22.10.LEAVING A CHILD IN A VEHICLE.(a) A person
commits an offense if he intentionally or knowingly leaves a child
in a motor vehicle for longer than five minutes, knowing that the
child is:
(1)younger than seven years of age; and
(2)not attended by an individual in the vehicle who is
14 years of age or older.

I'm filing a formal complaint against the officer who triggered my PTSD. I got his name and I'm going to get it notarized tomorrow. I'm also going to talk to the judge about how I'm NOT going to pay $932 because I left the vehicle for 45 seconds TOPS, which is much less than FIVE MINUTES.

Lots of other sh*tty stuff has happened the last 2 days, but I don't feel like typing it. Hope ya'll are having better months than me!

If you can't say something nice...

...blog about it.

Today I got in trouble. For being a crappy mom. Yepp, the occifers came to get me. I parked my car in the city hall parking right next to the cop shop. It was cold, so I left it running with the kids in the backseat, (GraceAnne was feeding Violet and both were happy), and locked the doors. I had to run across the street (25 ft) to drop off a hostess packet to someone who works down there. I knocked on the door, but the shop wasn't open, so I came back to the car. As I was getting into the car I heard the girl hollar to me, so I went back to give her the packet. She asked me a couple questions, (right inside the door of her shop...I could see the car and the kids the whole time), and I told her to hold on while I got her some more catalogs and moved the car, (didn't wanna get a ticket), and got the kids. When I got back across the street, (all this took no more than 45 seconds), a guy with a bandaged hand was yelling from the stairs. I said, "I know, I'm moving it right now, I'm sorry." He came over and tried to get into my car! I freaked, but figured we were in front of the police station in broad daylight, what could happen? I unrolled the window a hair so he could talk to me. He said, "I work for the police department, do you have a license on you?" I said yes and thought, "here we go...a parking ticket." He said, "you're going to have to step out of the vehicle." For parking in the wrong spot for 2 minutes?!? So I got out and he asked me what I was doing. I told him dropping something off, realized she had more questions and was moving the car, getting the kids and going back in. He asked how old the kids were and I realized this was about THEM and not my parking. I told him 9 months and almost 5. He just clucked at me. He said there was a patrol cop on the way and I could go do what I needed to do, but to leave the kids and the car there. OVER MY DEAD BODY am I leaving my kids here with some strange man, officer or not! So I stayed and he said nothing else to me. While we were waiting the kids were getting antsy, so I opened the back door and was talking to them. When the other officer got there, (how long does it really take? This town has all of 17,000 people and we were RIGHT in front of the station...give me a break!), she gets out of her car and the man says to her, "this woman left her 9 month old and 4 year old in the car alone. Just thought you'd be interested in that." To which she replied, "OH! I am VERY interested." The man drove away in his big, stinky diesel truck and the woman started taking down my information. The first thing she said to me was "did you know it's illegal to leave your children in a car by themselves?" I said, "I was unaware it was illegal to leave your children in a LOCKED car when you can SEE them and you're only gone for a few seconds." She said, "well, it is." At this point I have to get the kids out because she's taking forever and they're getting mad. So I'm now on the sidewalk holding Vi and GraceAnne jumping around. She ended up getting back in the car, (not in her carseat), cuz she was cold and she was jumping around in there like a fool and not listening to me which was just FANTASTIC for my nerves. The woman came to me with a little electronic dealy-bob and told me to sign it. I asked her what it was, because I KNOW I don't have to sign anything without being told what it is. She said, "No, you need to just sign this now, I'll explain in a minute." My bullsh*t meter was beeping, but I was about to blow a fuse so I signed it. She gave me the citation for 1. abandoning my children in a vehicle and 2. having said vehicle running. She told me to call the number on the citation for directions on what to do.

Can we say PISSED? Can we say HORRIFIED? Can we say EMBARRASSED beyond all belief? I spent a lot of time crying today and I'm left just pretty ticked off. I have to call tomorrow and find out what they want me to do. My very sincere prayer is that they don't have CPS come investigate us. They won't find anything but Lord knows what they'd say about us all living in the guest house. I have no idea what the dollar amount attached to this will be, I'm almost scared to find out, but if I only have to pay a fine and never hear another word, I'll be happy.

I hate these trash stories. It makes me feel trashy. Yes, I did wrong...but does anyone care that I was WATCHING them the whole time? It's not like I went grocery shopping and left them sitting in the car, (which I've seen around here!). It's also not as if I were gone all day. Do I need to take them out when I pre-pay for gas now? It's so very ridiculous. Things seem to get better and better around here.

Praise God for our health and for each other. Praise God that all things will work out in the end, because they sure aren't working out right now. Praise God because otherwise I might just think to hate Him for half a minute and I know that's just the devil working on me cuz I'm under stress. Praise God because I am not getting this onslaught of crap because I "deserve" it, but just because I live in this stupid, fallen world and someday it'll be better. Praise God because He still Blesses me, even when I refuse to see it. *sigh*

This post may offend...

This blog post may offend any non-believers out there. 2.5 years ago it would have offended me. Maybe we need to be offended so we can think, grow and accept the truth. So, consider yourself warned.

Allan got into a little bit of trouble at school today. There was a speaker who was talking about "disorders" in children and how there are many more disorders than we know about or diagnose. She talked for more than 45 minutes about how these kids have no impulse control and they are stressing their parents out. She gave 2 examples...

1) 2 little boys, (ages 6 and 5), were playing in their bedroom. The father was downstairs and kept hearing thuds. He was going to go check on them, but figured no one was crying so they were okay and decided to finish what he was doing. Then he heard a loud crash. He ran upstairs to see what had happened and it turned out they had been taking turns jumping from the top bunk. The older boy wanted to "fly" and grabbed hold of a fan blade, spinning around the room. He didn't pull the fan down, but something got knocked over, resulting in the crash.

2) a 16-year-old girl wanted to go to a friend's house. She borrowed the family car and didn't tell her parents where she was going. She broke her parents' curfew and didn't want to face the consequences, so she just didn't go home. The city had a curfew law, however, and the girl got picked up by the police and escorted home. This is how the parents found out where their daughter was.

So the argument is that these children have something wrong with them, but Allan took issue with that. What 6-year-old hasn't done something "wrong" and "damaging" because it looked fun? I'd say most of them have. My 4-year-old does on a daily basis. What 16-year-old hasn't disobeyed her parents and made things worse because she didn't want to own up to her mistakes?

At the very end of the presentation, the woman finally said, "perhaps the stressed out parents are affecting their children and causing them to behave this way." Then came Q&A time. People asked their questions and my husband happened to be the last to get to ask. His question? "Do you have children." Her answer? "no." Afterward his professors were upset with him. Apparently he embarrassed a very respected psychologist in front of the entire university. Was it not a legitimate question? People without kids probably don't think so, but I know you parents out there understand--KIDS ARE KIDS and HERE is WHY:

Life is meaningless without assuming a God. There's no reason to look forward to a future, no reason to be good, no reason for anything. How depressing. So let's assume there is a God...you know I believe this. God puts out rules, which is good, because HEY...who's right down here if we're not all right? We need guidelines or else all is chaos. So in being human we are ALL born with the propensity to sin. Don't get your panties in a bunch over the word "sin," either. It just means doing wrong and we all do wrong, so don't let the verbage catch you up. Children cannot teach themselves. They must be taught by others the difference between right or wrong. Anybody ever read Lord of the Flies? (Another point in the case for God...who originally taught us what is right and wrong?)

So is there really something wrong with these children, or is it simply their propensity towards sin? Each of us wants what we want. It's not until we're older and taught differently that we start to think of others/consequences before we act. Even then many of us don't act unselfishly. I hate when people walk around saying, "my kid has a disorder and that's why he screams in the restaurant." Okay, allow me to redeem myself by saying YES, some children DO have disorders that cause them to act out. Most parents of these children act accordingly and are very humble. The ones who irritate me are the same ones who irritate you...the ones smoking cigarettes and sipping coffee while allowing their children to run and jump off other booths and scream bloody murder with no sense of dissatisfaction or embarrassment that their child is behaving in this way. How should those kids know any different when the parent can't take 2 seconds out of their time to TEACH them how to behave in public? And the father's sin is visited upon the child...selfishness (I don't WANT to take the time or energy to teach them any differently) breeds selfishness (I don't care that the people around me would like to eat the meals that they paid a lot of money for in peace).

Maybe I'm rambling and this doesn't make sense, but when we realize that we live in a country where so many don't have faith in anything and so many don't fully KNOW what is wrong because they don't accept God's Word, of course we're going to think our kids are "messed up." Why shouldn't they just "know" how to behave themselves? After all, the evolution of humans has made us just THAT superior...we don't need to be taught anything, we came to these conclusions on our own. We have to realize that we NEED God just as children NEED parents. Then we think of what role God plays in our lives. He is a leader and He doesn't always give in to what we want. He knows what is best and He acts according to that plan. So how should we be raising our children? We should be leading them and not always give in to what they want. Just like we throw tantrums, (hello, I whine daily about being in the guest house!), our children will, but that doesn't mean we should just give in and assume they have a disorder and call it a day. God doesn't give up on us just cuz we're stubborn mules!

*sigh* I have to go because my 4-year-old is trashing her bedroom. Maybe I should take her to the psychologist and see what type of disorder she can be diagnosed with so I don't have to face the fact that I'm addicted to the internet and given to yelling at every little thing. Yeah...maybe then I'll feel better! I'll let you know in 14 years how that works out for me. ;)

Our Big Baby

9 months old! Can you even believe it? I sure can't! Violet is 18lbs 4oz and 29 inches long. She's only about 50% for her weight, so she took a big drop from 6 months, (80% then), but GraceAnne did the same thing and she didn't drop as much as GraceAnne did, so we're good. She's been very active and had been on a 2 day feeding strike before I took her in, so I think she's probably gained a few ounces now that she's decided a certain type of formula is her friend, (we like Similac Organic). She's very LOOOONG like her big sisters...95th percentile...and should be tall like they are, too.

Right now we're planning a few trips, so I'm very excited. First we're going to GA for a conference for Allan and then to FL to spend time with sister-in-law and mother-in-law. That will be in March. Mother-in-law wants us to come to PA in May for grandmother-in-law's 90th birthday bash. I'm not sure how we'll get there yet, but hopefully we can! Allan wants to go to PA pretty bad. We haven't been since GraceAnne was just a little over a year old, so it's probably time. Then we'll be going to Chicago in July for National Conference for me. I want to make that trip about a week long, (as long as Allan is not working), so we can see family and go to the Brookfield Zoo, (GREATEST ZOO ON EARTH!!), and Navy Pier with the kids. Rhiya will come with us so it will be SO MUCH FUN!

I love love LOVE travelling and we haven't been able to do much of it for the past few years because of school and money. Now that we've got the 2nd mortgage paid off we've been able to save a little more and do some fun stuff. Thank you, Lord! I missed travelling A LOT. Allan and I were in 28 different states in the first year we were together and made trips every 6 months from WA state to WI, besides little local trips in between. Once we moved to TX we became homebodies for the reasons stated above. I'm feeling very Blessed and very happy to be getting back to doing stuff. We usually drive everywhere, so we get to see a lot of really great things! Woohoo for getting the heck out!

To update everyone on my progress toward my goal of earning Disney World...I had $1278 in commissionable sales last month, so I earned a total of 5,556 pts. I need 52,000 total, so I got over 10% of my needed pts! I have until Dec. 31, 2009 to earn points, I WILL DO THIS!! We will absolutely be celebrating GraceAnne's 6th birthday at Disney World and I will absolutely be getting her breakfast with the princesses because the rest of the trip will be FREE! Please check up on me from time to time and kick me in the butt. I need all the encouragement and prayers you can offer to get this business going and meet my goals. I appreciate you all so much!